We all live in windows of time. We often do not live in the present but in windows of time. When we are going about our days we are thinking about what we are going to do or wondering what is going to happen, or thinking about an event that had occurred or about what someone said to us way back when etc. These windows of time are ones that have an effect on us and also ones which we hope to have some control over in the future because of what happened in the past.
Many of us consciously work at being more mindful and being more in the present. Even so, and with the best intentions and discipline, we often do not succeed in this endeavor. That is ok, and how our mind's work so frequently, and is part of our human experience. When it becomes a problem is when we are not aware that we are actually living in a window of time and are acting and reacting as though that past or future window was, in fact, happening right now.
There are so many examples of this daily phenomenon that it is hard to sit down and pinpoint one. I will take apart something that happened inside of me today to give an example to this daily happening. I had recently become aware that I was having digestive issues again. I had experienced a bout of digestive distress in the spring and it lasted a few months. I then had a relatively easy digestive time for a few months. The last couple of days I noticed that I was uncomfortable again. I drew a warm bath with lots of bubbles and sat down and let the warmth soothe me as I went inside of me to see what was going on. What I began to see was that I had been upset about something that happened with our dog and we had tried to place him with new owners. It was extremely difficult for me. The new owners didn't work out and we got our dog back. Yes, this would be upsetting for any dog owners, but I knew there was a window of unconscious time I had gone in that I hadn't addressed.
I let my mind float in the warm water and a memory came to me. When I was 6 years old our family had made a very difficult move to a new city. We had left a place where families lived in a community and I had a lot of friends. We moved to a city and an area where there was not a community feel and it was hard to make friends. The friends I did make didn't live walking distance to me. I had felt very lonely and very sad. My dad worked all day and my mom was depressed and also alone in a new city. This was a repeated pattern in my young life. My parents had moved to a new city just before I was born, and when I was two, my parents moved to another city. All of these times left my mother very alone with her children. Here I was again, uprooted from friends and community and alone with my mom and siblings. It was such a great loss for me. Without realizing it, when we thought we gave our dog away, it reminded me of that great loss as he is a great friend of mine. I was living in another window of time at the same time I was at the present time. It was this unconscious window that affected my gut so profoundly.
These windows of time, when we can become aware of them, are a very rich soil for us to learn, re-learn and to feel old feelings. That 'aha' moment is such a helpful one as it gives us words to describe what is happening to us at a feeling level. What window of time do you find yourself in today? And is there a window of time that you are aware of recently that can help shed some light on what you are feeling? As we find the connections and the words, we can impact our health and vitality on a very great level.
Shift Your Story/Shift Your Life
I can imagine you have an idea of the journey we are going to take together if you so choose. Here we go:
Close your eyes and breathe deeply 2 or 3 times; deep breaths. Look at a recent time, maybe in the last week or two, and it doesn't have to be a deep time, and think of an event or a conversation with someone where you might have been responding not through the present event or conversation, but through a past one. Just breathe and take a little inventory of your recent past. See the images, feel the feelings, remember what was going on at the time. Now, remember how you responded. Was there a time where your response was not what it seemed at the time? Was there a reaction that now, in looking back, you can see that there was more to what happened than what seemed at the time? Take your time. When something comes to you, just see where your mind and memory takes you… no censoring, just allowing. Let the inner scene unfold for you. When you have an idea of what window of time you were in, just breathe in the full memory. Let it have room inside of you. Put words to your new found knowledge… what was really going on in me was… This is for you alone. If you wish to share later, that is absolutely your prerogative.
Now breathe deeply 2 or 3 times and become aware of your present surroundings and open your eyes.
My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about when you are feeling down on yourself. If you just want to give up. Listen to my words of wisdom for more on creating a new mindset: