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Showing posts from May, 2014

June Bugs: What Is Bugging Us?

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“If you are in a bad situation, don’t worry it’ll change. If you are in a good  situation, don’t worry it’ll change.” -John a. Simone, Jr.
June is here. It is the end of spring and we begin to feel the heat of summer on its heels. I almost wrote heals instead of heels. It is also true that the sun’s warm rays do help to heal us. And yet, like most of us, there are things which just plain bother us, or bug us.
This month of June, I will talk more about how things that bug us also keep us tied to things and events and memories from the past. As the summer steps in and heats up, I will move more into the present. I work with people in the here and now to help them address the present so they can absolutely affect their future in a new and positive way.
Have you ever seen June bugs? They are crunchy, medium sized bugs that usually come out at night when we are sleeping. I once had the privilege of seeing an ocean of them on my living room floor when I was little. There was an infestation of th…

The Shadow of Being Victimized

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“Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best.” -Theodore Rubin

As the sun in May becomes felt in our eyes and on our skin it also casts shadows in front of us. Shadows teach us. We can tell time with the shadows. I think of the song here, Me and My Shadow.
When events occur in our lives where we are victimized in some way, that experience casts a shadow on us in our lives and affects the lives also of everyone we come in contact with because we are still acting under the spell of it. When we are little, we don’t have much choice as to what happens to us and how we are treated. The problem is we keep that shadow with us throughout our lives.
We don’t know how to turn the shadow effects around for us so we can move on. How we treat and react to others is influenced by the shadow. In our heads and minds, we feel innocent. It is not about us. It is about them. Yet, it does becom…

Who Are We, After All?

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“We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same." -Anne Frank
Many of us spend much of our lives trying to figure out who we are. Does this sound familiar? It seems that every few years we figure out another piece, when we are ready to see. The truth is that who we are is usually very simple. And, it is the simple that often is the most illusive.
I think of May as a month of coming out. It is coming out of the cold climate, into the outdoors and the sunlight. It is also the coming out of what has been incubating within us through the winter months. 
So here we are with the age-old question, ‘who are we anyway’? I remember when my son asked me that question; who am I? I began by answering a mom, a doctor, a person who loves the outdoors and the sun, and so on. I remember in his young wisdom, telling me that is not who I am. At that time I didn’t fully understand his question, nor did I really know the answer. Now, as I really look at the qu…

The Happiness Factor

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“Your happiness is a gift because it literally brings out the best in you.” -Robert Holden
When the sun shines we almost can’t stop from smiling. May is a month when the sun begins casting its warm rays throughout this part of the world. It just plain feels good and makes us happy.
We look outside of us and see our world waking up out of its winter dormancy. We begin to see a riot of beautiful colors and life in front of us. As we work with both our life and our family’s influence on us, we unravel the threads holding us back, which propels us into this riot of happiness.
I was using the Family Constellation work with a woman who was very aware of the dysfunction of her family. She was also aware of the residual anger and loss she sometimes felt from old feelings and memories, which were evoked during an event or meeting with a family member. We had done work together before. This time it was necessary to go way back to the beginning of the thread of this dysfunction that she was so fu…