Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Grateful For Life

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the 
charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
                                                                                         -Marcel Proust

Come November, we often think of Thanksgiving and what we are grateful for. It is alright not to be grateful for all the things we think we should be. It is even better to let us feel our gratefulness in all the places that it naturally rises. As I am going through my BodyPresencing hologram, November and December of this year focuses on being able to move gracefully into the future. Time is fluid and as we affect our past, we influence our present and our future. So, as we work to heal aspects of our past and our ancestors unresolved secrets, we also heal through time.

At this time, my older dog is asking for help to end her pain. This means putting her to sleep as gracefully as possible. We have a young dog who loves her deeply as well as two humans who live with her and whose lives have become entwined with hers. As the time is approaching I find I have a cold that won’t go away. I feel helpless to help her, and she has been in my life for 13 years with a ton of memories. Many of those memories overlap with memories with my son and full family….so as I am preparing to help her; many things are stirred up within me.

I woke up at 4:00 a.m. today wondering about the connection between my cold and my pain at not having her active in my life. Somehow, through different permutations, I came to the feeling of something I embraced in my life, which is not me. We can call this a family belief, which I had embraced and which doesn’t help me, my ancestors, or my son. This belief is that we need to take care of our family members. I had made a silent and secret pact with my father at a young age to take care of him and his feelings. Does this sound familiar? Many of us have made young, innocent unconscious pacts with a family member. The problem is that we each need to do our own work, no matter what. No one can do our work for us, and as we reap the rewards of how we have lived, we also learn from our own mistakes. If we take care of someone else in terms of their feelings, and over care for them by feeling responsible for them, we take away their own power as well as ours. I was raised to take care of family. It is one thing to drive them to the airport, to take them to doctors when they need help, or to help them recover from an accident. It is another thing to feel responsible for them and for their happiness and health and so to take care of them in that way. The truth is they are responsible for their own happiness and health. I am responsible for mine. How I live and how aware and conscious I am determines greatly the quality of my life….and the same for everyone. 

As I took on feeling responsible for my father when very young, it influenced me in many ways in my life.

So back to my dog. She is taking responsibility for her life and is asking for help to end her pain. I can do that. If I think of me and how much I will miss her and keep taking care of her, I rob her of something important and I rob myself by over caring. I am not a caretaker…that is not who I am. My essence is so much more than that. If I continue to think of myself as a caretaker I am not living my own life. So I feel my sadness, maybe even a little depression, and I move to this new perspective which helps me come to acceptance of my dog’s decision, and of letting her go. I am so grateful for her life, for her sharing her life with me, and for what I have learned through her and from her.

I am grateful for my life and I am grateful for my dog and her life, what we shared together, what I learned from her, and for her asking for my help in helping her to move on. As I let go of my old care taking role in life and see where that came from, I can listen to her and I can accept her path. As we all can make these conscious decisions for ourselves and separate ourselves from what is not really us, we can all walk the path towards having more whole, vital and healthy lives.

Recommended Resources:

Books are wonderful tools for learning about us. I just finished reading the Divergent trilogy by Veronica Roth. I heartily recommend this trilogy. It is a wonderful story and also the author consciously or unconsciously leads us through the characters pain to their growth through awareness and acceptance.

In addition, if you haven’t seen it or taken yourself through the experience, I recommend going through the BodyPresencing experience by going to my website, www.bodypresencing.com. Click on Body Presencing and scroll down to Body Presencing Hologram. Click on the meditations and exercises which accompany the hologram. First, you might have an intention or an idea of what you would like some help with. Use that intention as you work through the hologram.

Monday, October 27, 2014

What Is Your Personal Shift

 “Maybe the only thing each of us can see is our shadow.
                                                                                                           Carl Jung

October is a time in the year with a big seasonal shift. We are shifting from the heat and sun of summer to the cold and darker hibernation of winter. Even though this shift happens as part of our natural rhythm in life, it sometimes is hard to accept. 

There are many things in life which are hard to accept. Who doesnt wish that we had a great childhood, great parents, and a happy life? Events in life happen. Patterns get repeated. We all know the saying, shappens.A friend of mine likes to say, Shift happens. I also like to say, shift your story, and shift your life. It is bad enough that bad things happen to us. It is even worse that we keep repeating them in our lives. We keep repeating sayings and beliefs, we keep repeating words, and we keep repeating our family and life stories. These stories then get ingrained in our consciousness, and so affect us even subliminally.

What would happen if we were able to make a subtle or not so subtle shift in our stories where we could see them in a slightly different way?

This slight shift then allows us to move from places inside of us where we are or feel depressed, to having a new perspective, and then to finding acceptance. In finding acceptance, we then allow internal forces to move us in a new direction of health, wholeness and vitality.

I was talking with a client the other day who, through difficult recent events, was feeling sad and depressed. She was and still is, madly in love with a person who just broke up with her, and broke her heart. As I was speaking with her about how difficult and painful this is to have your heart broken, she suddenly looked angry and closed down. I asked what happened inside of her, and she told me that she just doesnt accept it. She said she doesnt think it is right, and she doesnt accept it. When she told me that, she looked like a five year old girl. I told her that for her to have that internal reaction; something probably happened to her much younger that she didnt accept. She told me that when she was four years old, her father and mother divorced and her father left them for another woman who she always has thought was awful. I put out some figurines for her, her sister, her mother, her father, and this awful other woman. I asked her what she would want to say to this woman, and she said that she would say that he was hers first. She told me she had to accept this. It is true; she did have to accept this. How difficult this was for her and for any young child. Not only that, but she had a few other men in her life who she loved and they broke up with her. No wonder she is finding the break up of this recent relationship difficult to accept. She had to accept a primary break up, with no say and no choice, and then three others. 

As a child, when we have an event where our parents break up, we think when our parents leave that it is our fault and that maybe we could have done something so they wouldnt leave. We also think and feel that then maybe we arent lovable. We think that maybe something is wrong with us, and this too is hard to accept. The shift here is in seeing what was going on with dad and with mom. The break up was theirs, and between them, and yet, it feels like it is about them, the children. Looking at what happened between dad and mom, and seeing what happened in dads life to bring him to this life choice is important. This takes it away from the child in terms of dads choice not being about her, but about him and how life events shaped him and his wife. Then, we can see that what happened wasnt because we are unlovable but because something was going on inside of dad. A change of perspective has the power to shift many things. Shift your inner story, and shift your life. Being able to do this helps us move from depression to acceptance. As we can find acceptance towards what happened and who we are and who our parents are, a whole new world can open up for us.

Recommended Resources:

I have recently put together a Body Presencing hologram where I visually, through written words, and through auditory exercises and meditations, help us go through an experience where we can be present to ourselves in a new way and move through reactions to life where we are stuck in the past, through the present and into our future. 

One example is taking us though depression with perspective and into acceptance. To experience this yourself, think of some place in your life where you feel stuck in a feeling or mood or story. Then go to my web site, www.bodypresencing.com. Click on Body Presencing, and scroll down to Body Presencing Hologram, and give this a try. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

The Language of the Shadow

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me; and what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
                                                                                  -Robert Louis Stevenson

We all want to create a future for ourselves and our families and our communities where we can live fulfilled lives with happiness and prosperity. We want to live connected to others and yet independent. This is our true inheritance. So often this is not the future we do create. 

We often live in the shadow of our unconscious and compelled to make similar mistakes as our parents, and their parents, and so the patterns we see that keep repeating, keep repeating.

Our shadow side controls us until we can make conscious what has been hidden from us. As October rolls around each year, I am so much more aware of the colder, darker sides of us as the shorter and cooler days make their appearance. Even so, there is so much beauty in the month of October, just as there is inside of us. 

As I explore the Body Presencing model which integrates body work and Chiropractic work with Family Constellation work and brain work, I have developed a hologram. The hologram takes us on a journey from the past, where we frequently get stuck, to the present, and then to creating our future. I do this through a series of words, meditations and visualizations which help us to navigate through our internal terrain. Our future becomes one of hope, love, connection, inspiration, clarity and acceptance.

In order to navigate this journey, an important part is listening to and really hearing our language. I was sitting with a patient the other day and listening to her words and realized that her words were very special in showing us her internal experience of her mother when she was very young. She was describing to me the trip she was planning in visiting her mother. Her mother was much on her mind. She had a goal and an agenda to arm herself for her visit. In fact, she was very clear that to be with her mother she has to have an agenda and a goal. This trips goal was to take her shopping for a sofa. I had suggested to her that when she goes she might want to create a distance so she feels safe as she visits with her mother. She then told me that her mother does that very clearly. She said that her mother puts everything in her own mousetrap. In addition, she said she wants to go and really be with what she is. She didnt say, who she is, she clearly said what she is.

As I listened to her I suddenly felt something similar to what she must have felt when she was with her mother as a child. Those words she used were so descriptive of her early experience. She was in a mouse trap, and she experienced her mother as a what, and not a who. As an adult, my patient has spent much of her time trying to be close to her mother, and trying to be seen, and to be helpful, and her mother kept her at a distance. She yearned for closeness with her mom. Her mother wasnt able to do that. How painful that must have been for her as a small child. Those experiences shaped her as a person and as a woman who cant get close to those she cares for, and needs to arm herself or even numb herself in order to be with her mother. How small and trapped she felt at a very important time in her life. 

Her words gave us so much information. Her words are a language of the shadow which now has come up for air. Now that they are heard, she has the ability to work with them and with her feelings and her experiences in a way she couldnt when they were buried inside of her.

We all have this idiosyncratic language; a language of our soul. Taking the time to really listen to ourselves is very important, and also having someone who can help us to hear ourselves is also important at times.
As we do, we can develop the tools to create a future we want for us, for our families and for the world.

Shift Your Story Shift Your Life: Meditation/Visualization

We are going to do a short meditation/visualization:

Get comfortable and have both of your feet on the ground. Begin by closing your eyes and taking 2 or 3 deep breaths. Tune into your breath. 

Now think of a saying you find yourself saying, or words you hear yourself repeating. If you cant think of your own, think of someone you know who has an interesting saying or sentence they repeat; it could be, sweet, or the early bird gets the worm, or boy was that stupid, or that is dumb, or anything you find you keep repeating to yourself about yourself.

Take a few minutes with this. Think of something, and let it go. Think of something else and then let it go. Let something just pop in your mind. Sit with this for a bit, and invite the words or saying that resonates with you the most to be with you. See the words in your minds eye, and feel the words, and hear you saying them to yourself or others. How do they feel, and where do you feel them in your body? How do they sound? 

What do those words make you think of? Who else do you know who says those words or sayings? 

Now, let them just be with you for a few minutes. How old do you feel right now? Is there a memory that comes up for you now, unbidden, but you find yourself thinking of this old thing that happened? Who is saying those words around you? What was it like for you at that time in your life? If nothing comes up for you, that is fine. Just do the first part of this mediation where you feel the words and hear them and see them. 

Now, ask you, do they really resonate with me and who I really am, and what my real life experience is now? If not, then, in your minds eye, just let them go. As you let them go, just let yourself be and feel and breathe. Just breathe until you become aware of your breath, and then gently open your eyes. 

If it is helpful for you, lastly, write down the words or saying that came to you. They are yours to work with until you can just let them go.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

A Future of Love

“Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.”

As the month of October unfolds, the leaves turn bright colors, the sun casts shadows at a different angle, and the weather cools. I see oranges, and reds and yellows everywhere. People get very creative in carving their pumpkins. There is a kind of excitement in the air; of change. As I watch the changes unfolding from my morning window, I think of us as people, and what we want for our future and our childrens future.  As I am sitting and contemplating, a client I recently worked with comes to mind because she too was concerned about her future and her sons future.

She came in worked upabout a recent incident. She was parked outside a clients house while she spent an hour with her. She came back to her car and found a parking ticket on her windshield, and so went immediately to pay for it because there is a window of time where the amount of the ticket is less if you pay within 60 minutes. It turned out that she would have to appeal the ticket or pay a $25.00 fine. It made her angry because she would lose half of what she made.

As she was talking, I thought of her son who she also talks about as getting angry over little things. She worries about him and his anger. Recently he had an episode where he couldnt find something, his karate belt, and felt responsiblefor its loss and responsible for it, as he needed it in a class where he would be a helper. I will come back to this in a minute.

As I go back to my client, I asked her who else or when else in her life did she feel something got taken away from her. She immediately said that her childhood got taken away from her. Her mother was frequently angry and was angry with her and was angry with her father. Her mother told her way too many things that a child doesnt need to hear. And, when she was a young teen and baby sitting, her parents borrowedall the money she had made through babysitting and didnt pay her back. As she spoke more, she also said that her mother would get very angry with her over little things and would call her irresponsible. One example was her fear over forgetting to turn on the oven when she got home from school, as her mother would get very angry with her. This woman felt very responsible for everything. When she was little, a lot was put on her shoulders. This was inappropriate for a child. She didnt have the resources to deal with the pressure.

As I listened to her I told her that a child doesnt have the ability to respond in a way that an adult does. Now she does have an ability to respond, and here is her son getting angry and feeling responsible for something which is out of context to finding his lost item (a karate belt).

She heard me. She realized that without realizing it, she was carrying forward a lineage of anger and inappropriate responsibility just as her mother did. She also sees now that she can break this cycle for her, and for her son. 

How beautiful this little incident of the parking ticket was for her to see a pattern and to begin the process of changing and breaking the pattern for her future and for her sons. We do create our future, and through perspective, and understanding, she can live in peace, the ability to respond, and have a future of love and clarity for her, her son, and his children, etc.

Healthy Eating and Lifestyle Tips:

In this blog is a story about how anger, with truth, can lead us to clarity and the ability to create a future and legacy that we want; one without pain and suffering.

I thought this time I would talk about a lifestyle tip that can also assist this process. As a general rule, I find that changing lifestyle patterns is very difficult for us. We know that eating healthy and exercise and helpful for our health and also for our whole outlook about life. I will share a lifestyle tip that I use that really helps.

Sometimes we do get stuck in reactive and angry feelings. Finding ways out can be difficult. We can forget that our bodies and our minds and thoughts are really one. So, if we use our body to dispel some of the toxic energy, it can help us on all levels.

I recommend if and when you get angry and triggered so that you are very reactive, go and take a brisk walk. If it is cold outside, dress warm, and go out and walk briskly, actively and purposefully. If you have to talk to yourself out loud while walking, go ahead and do so. Actively think about what triggered you as you are walking. 

This way you are not stagnant, and the feelings move through you instead of just staying stuck within you. As you actively walk, think about the immediate trigger, and then take yourself back in time to an initial trigger; what happened when you were young or younger that was so hurtful. Talk yourself through the triggered anger as you thoroughly move your body and find the real reason for your anger, if possible. As you begin to feel tired in your body, and your mind is more restful, then ask yourself this question: what would someone else say or do who is not angry and ask yourself if you can do this also. What we are doing here is combining part of the non-reactive formula with the active walking. Try it; it is very helpful. And again, if you feel like it, drop me a line and let me know how it worked for you!

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Our Inner Halloween

How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side if I am to be whole.
                                                                                                    -Carl Jung

Halloween has become a big celebration here in America. When I was small, it was a little fun celebration mostly for kids. We would go out in our costumes; angels, princesses, princes, hobos, etc. and play a game called, trick or treat. We would knock on doors in our neighborhood, say trick or treat, and they would ask for a trick or a joke, and then give out home made treats or candy. It was fun, and not really so scary. These days, adults celebrate as much or more than the children. The children wear many scary costumes in addition to the fairy princesses, etc. Among other Halloween differences, people dont have a joke or trick ready, and they love to scare each other. They even carve very intricate, scary faces on their pumpkins.  We all have an inner Halloween; a part of us which frightens us.

As we go through the fall in my blogs, I am taking us into the future of the Body Presencing formula. For example, I am showing us how we can go from fearful to having boundaries, to feeling love. You see, we all have things we are afraid of. Many of us havent found a way yet to move out of our fears. Fear is really the opposite of love; not hate. 

One of my patients is a young woman on the precipice of adulthood. She has moved far away from home, to a different country and culture for school. Although she has friends there, she is suddenly confronted by so many things which frighten her. She came from a sheltered and inclusive community and family. Suddenly, by her own choice, she is in a different community and her immediate family is far away. She is confronted by herself alone, maybe for the first time. Questions come to her about herself; who is she, what does she believe in separate from her community and family? What if she finds she has different ideas and beliefs from them? She is afraid she will disappoint and be alone.

As this is happening inside of her, she is also realizing that she doesnt have good boundaries. Is she separate from her community? Can she be part of her family and her community with separation; being her own person? She doesnt know yet. She is learning, and it is painful. Boundaries, what are they? As we talk together, she also is realizing that she is merged with important people in her life. One thing which helped her is a little exercise I do with my patients. I brought my face directly up to hers and asked her to keep her eyes open. What does she see, and does she see me? No, she really doesnt. She sees a one eyed Cyclops. That is what happens to us when we are too close to someone or to something. We are so close we cant see them clearly. Then, I stepped away and slowly moved my face a couple of feet away from her. I asked her what she saw. She could describe my face clearly. And even more importantly, when she looked down, she could see herself separate from me. I told her this is what she is doing for the first time, with her family and her community. When she is able to step back and see them clearly and herself clearly, she then has access to at least two people; herself and the other. This boundary shift actually allows her to see the other and herself and to then have the opportunity to love herself separately, yet in connection to others. Fear, with boundaries, can lead to love. In fact, if you click on Body Presencing Hologram on my web site, go ahead and then click in the meditation and then exercise that takes us from fear to love. 

Small Lifestyle Changes that Promote Big Results;

How would you like to do this exercise with me? When we are too close to something; our community, our mother, our father, our partner, and we merge with them, we often lose their separateness and what they have to offer, and our separateness and what we have to offer.

Think about something or someone you might be too close to and have little boundaries with. Close your eyes and imagine yourself staring right into their face, but their face is right up against your own. In your minds eye, open your eyes and see what is in front of you. What do you see? Can you see the other person clearly, or situation clearly? Now, again in your minds eye, watch yourself watching the person or situation slowly stepping back until you can see their whole self clearly. What do you see? Now look down at yourself, again, keeping your eyes closed, and look at you until you can see you clearly. How do you feel? What do you see? If you are used to the merging or closeness, then this might feel a little uncomfortable for you. That is ok. Again, we are just noticing without any judgment. 

You can do this exercise as often as necessary to help you to find good and healthy boundaries and find yourself.

What Do You Do When Things Don't Go Your Way?

“Everyone things of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
Leo Tolstoy

Here we are in the dog days of summer, September. We are thinking and planning ahead to the coming fall and winter. We may prefer warm weather, but we live in a temperate climate. We dream of where we want to live, what we want to happen, etc. 

We dream and life happens. We would love to control our lives and be in control and yet there is a bigger picture. So often what we think we want and what we really want, underneath, aren’t the same things. We live our lives as if we are in control and as if we really know what is best for us, and we complain when things don’t go our way. There are days and times when we get behind every slow going car, we catch every red light, we drop things, we trip and fall and hurt ourselves, we get way laid by things we don’t want to do and we have to do, etc. It is so easy to just get upset when things don’t go the way we would like them to go. We can lash out, get angry, get frustrated, and make things worse. What would happen if instead, on those days, we are able to go with the flow? What would happen if, as we feel we are getting upset or frustrated, instead we look at the bigger picture, and move with it?

It is actually easy to move with the flow than to fight it. Yet, we fight it. We want to be in control. That WE is not who we are; it is an aspect of our ego’s that wants to lead. We are so much more than that. What if on a day where everything goes wrong, we instead look at it as an opportunity? An opportunity to do something we wouldn’t have been able to do because we didn’t have the time. An opportunity to look at something or someone differently. An opportunity to understand something deeper within ourselves?

Today is such a day for me. As things just kept not working out, I decided instead to look at the impatience that was brought up in me. I was feeling so impatient because things were taking longer. I couldn’t get to what I thought I should be doing, and I was beginning to get short with myself and others around me. I felt like a six year old girl, that I once was, whose family moved to a new city she didn’t like and she had no say in the matter. I wanted to dig in my heels and have a good old fashioned temper tantrum. I started to, and then caught myself. Wait a minute, I thought. This is an opportunity to work with my six year old little girl and really talk with her and learn from her and have her learn from me. And as things go on days such as these, I had to push to the side this contemplation to get ready to go to work with a new patient who had scheduled an hour. The new patient ended up not showing or even calling. So, I took a breath. I could have gotten frustrated and angry but then I thought, maybe I can use this time instead to work with myself and maybe even write about my experiences of today. Writing often helps me to integrate my thoughts and feelings. I feel grateful for this marvelous day, and this gorgeous time to do something else, which I wouldn’t have done had things gone according to my little plans.

Small Lifestyle Changes that Promote Big Results:

A small change that I am thinking of is one that is very powerful. You might already do this. I am thinking of just being grateful.

As things happen, and they change, and even maybe something tragic or difficult occurs, we actually can feel grateful for whatever this change brought to us. 

This is not to pretend or hope that things didn’t happen. This is taking in what has happened, and working with whatever it brings up for us, and then, being grateful for its blessings in some way. This gratitude comes with great feeling. 

Gratitude! Find a few minutes each day and ask yourself, what are you grateful for today? What did this day or event or person or feeling bring to me and make me aware of? How am I a little bit better today? And for that, I am grateful. If you have to break up the day into very small pieces to find something that made you better as a person, or was there to help you, then please, do that. 

I am grateful to be able to feel and to write, and to express myself. I am grateful for the opportunity to feel again my little six year old and help her along the way with me. 

What are you grateful for?

Monday, September 22, 2014

Does Anger Linger

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

This September time of year can be hot, and can be cool as a harbinger of the fall nipping on its heels. It is a time of the New Year in the Jewish calendar, and a time of “at one ment”, atonement, for the Jewish Yom Kippur. It is a time when we go apple picking and blackberry picking at the local orchards, and enjoy fresh apple pies and apple cider. And it is a time of year which starts to bring out our cool, shadow sides. I never thought I had much anger left in my cool side, but I am discovering there is still some lingering.

With the swings of temperature and bridge to a new season of the year, and the intent and preparation for the Jewish holidays, it makes me draw inward a bit in readiness and in pursuit of self growth. As I do so, I think about the parts that I think of as me, and the parts I don’t recognize in me, and yet, react to so profoundly in others. For example, if I am with others, and someone gets angry or rageful with me or around me, I get scared inside. Their rage frightens me. As I become aware that my fear of their anger or rage is really an awareness of my own suppressed anger/rage, I can then begin to work with my own feelings. These feelings are really not my essence, who I am, but are manifestations of my ego which developed as a way of protecting me in some meaningful way at that time in my life.

I find that it is usually very early times in our lives which impact us in a way where we get so defended. It can also be later in life with a great trauma as in war, or the death of a parent or a significant person, and such as that.  So, as I begin to become aware of what I had repressed, my own anger, I can then own it again. This time as I own it I have lots of other information and resources that I didn’t have when I was little. I can now hold that little girl and comfort her. I now have words to speak to her. I can now work with her instead of letting her overcome me because she didn’t know what else to do or how else to dispel her anger. And importantly, I can tell her that this anger or rage isn’t who she is. It is a reaction to something; not feeling seen, sadness, some basic needs not being met, etc. 

For myself, my rage began when I was very little. My mother was very depressed, she had 4 live children in 6 years, and my father was not available much during the day as he worked. My younger sister was born deaf and when my little brother was born, my mom went into a deep depression and wasn’t available to anyone. Yes, I raged and was angry. Over the years I got very good at repressing it. In fact, I thought I had dealt with it and it was worked out; as if things really worked that way. Yes, I had worked with it, and yes I am much less angry than I was. And, there are layers which I am seeing which now are showing their selves that are ready to be seen and worked with. It starts with recognizing what triggers us from others. It is easy to say, no, it is not mine. I don’t recognize this in me. Usually it is what we don’t recognize in us which is most hidden in us. Does anger linger? Do other emotions like feeling alone, like being depressed, like being fearful, like being overly defended, and being or feeling lost hide within us in some way? Do those feelings linger? Yes, they do, and the important thing is recognizing them so we can work with them. Staying hidden, they impact us by blocking us from where we are really going and what we really want. Let’s welcome out our hidden parts of ourselves so they can be addressed again and we can live the whole and vital lives that is possible for us.

Shift Your Story: Guided Visualization/Meditation

Are you ready for a guided meditation?

Get comfortable, and find a place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes. Sit with your feet comfortably on the ground and uncrossed. Breathe!!

Take a couple of short breaths and feel the movement of your breath inside of you. Close your eyes. 
Think of something in you which you are dealing with. This could be feeling unworthy, feeling defended, etc. Go through an inner list that you are aware of. Take this list to its natural end.

Now, this is harder. As you go through the list it will come to an end. You won’t be able to think of something. When this occurs, just breathe.

Now, ask yourself this question: what am I not aware of, but I notice that it really bothers me in others. What bothers me in others? Now, just relax with this question, and give it time to set inside without rushing. Just be aware of your breath. Now, start letting what comes to you trickle in. Is it their rudeness, their insensitivity to my feelings, their anger, their unjustness, their road rage, their denial of what is obvious, etc? These are just a few examples. Let them again, just trickle in and take notice. 

Even if you think of only one or two, that is fine. If you can’t think of any right now, that is fine also. 
Now, Take notice of which one or two stays with you….this isn’t part of me. I don’t recognize these at all, but they do bother me in others. 

When you have one, thank it, thank yourself, and become aware of your breath again. Feel your feet on the ground and the weight of your body on the chair or sofa. Open your eyes. 

The last part of this is: get a sheet of paper and write down the one or two things that stayed with you. Then, just notice what happens in your life.

If something important comes up for you, and you want to reach out to me, please feel free.