Thursday, August 17, 2017

Being Vulnerable

We spend a great deal of our time in life protecting ourselves from perceived hurts from life and from others. Some of us take on the role of being a victim and so we go through life over sharing and being over vulnerable with others, bonding over our wounds and almost unconsciously asking to be hurt again. Others of us take on more of a role of everything being ok, and not easily asking for help and not easily sharing our true and vulnerable, underbelly selves. Neither extreme is one which is helpful to us, and yet we developed those ways of coping from our early life experiences. Which way of coping do you find yourself most resonating with?  Both ways actually keep us from being truly vulnerable in a life affirming way. They are defenses built to protect us from hurts. Defenses could also be called fences. These fences keep others out from our hurt selves and keep us in, really not allowing our further growth and expansion. We developed these fences as a way of surviving. Our old instinctive brains, our young developing brains, are all about surviving in a world that is perceived as dangerous. To us in this young developing stage of life, it is all about surviving and belonging. We need to belong in order to survive. We are willing to do almost anything in order to be part of our family group and to survive. This includes giving a part of us up who is seen as different or bad from our caretakers. It also includes building fences around us so we don’t feel the pain and hurt and so we can live. This old primitive brain then continues to rule us in life as we get older unless we are able to learn how to recognize what is happening and learn how to talk with our young selves as well as our older selves, creating a continuous dialogue between our old primitive brain, and our brain which is aware and rationally relating to us, to others and to events and things around us in the present tense.  Our old brains get stuck in the past and don't recognize that what is occurring now in our lives is not the same as occurred when we were young and experiencing hurt or trauma. Learning to be vulnerable with ourselves and others is a part of learning how to build a bridge between our primitive brains about survival and belonging to our newer, rational brains which can take in and recognize that what is happening now is in the present and not necessarily related to the past. What this looks like in relationships with others, is that we are able to recognize when we find ourselves withholding a part of ourselves and our feelings and thoughts from a partner or friend or colleague, etc., and are consciously and unconsciously protecting us from sharing how we really feel and how we really think.  I have one client who is over vulnerable. She over shares her issues and what is going on with her and how she is feeling. This over sharing comes from not trusting herself or knowing herself very well and identifying with being a victim. We don't always consciously realize when we are identifying with a victim mentality. This can come from having someone in the family, as she does, who hasn't led a good life, in her perception. She has an aunt who is mentally challenged from early birth trauma, and she has a sister who really struggles in life. This woman almost feels as if she has to struggle, and has to make things hard and doesn't understand why. This way of behaving seems to be vulnerable, but it too is actually a way she has learned to act that in fact prevents her from knowing her own self, her own true strengths, and vulnerabilities. I have another client who seems so defended and like he has to be strong and be the fixer and the person people come to for help, not realizing he is not really being his true self and vulnerable with them in terms of being with his feelings. In fact, he is wounded, as we all are, and works very hard to cover up his wounds until he can't anymore. He attracts women to him who thinks he can fix them. Then when his vulnerabilities show up, they don't know how to handle it, and they leave him. His mother was an alcoholic who could be an out of control drunk, so to speak. His father was worried and asked his son, this young boy, to let him know when his mom acted up again. He did so, loving his father, and his mother and his father confronted his mom. Mom then knew her son had told on her, felt betrayed, and turned on her son. She basically disowned her son; that is how it felt to him as a young boy. So, trying to please his father and trying to help his mother, he ended up losing his mother. As he grew up he became a busy fixer. This worked well except for when his issues reared their head in relationships with women in particular. There comes a period where his fears of betrayal and abandonment become a problem, and these women don't understand, feel betrayed themselves, and the relationships end. As this man learns to feel his feelings and to be vulnerable with himself, he can then be truly vulnerable in a relationship with others. We all have a little of both within us. Some of us have more of the victim aspect, and some of us have more of the openly defended aspect. Learning how to be truly vulnerable with us and with our feelings is the path to our healing and living more whole, vital, and healthy lives.  Change Your Story/Change Your Life  Take a moment and breathe deeply. Get into the rhythm of your breath. Think about which you resonate with the most; the openly defended, or the openly too vulnerable victim aspect. Think of an example in your life where you had to defend yourself from someone or some thing. What was happening at that time? How did you feel about yourself? What, if anything, were you afraid of or anxious about? How did you respond, and how did the other person who's involved respond? How did you feel afterward? Now, go through that event or conversation again in your mind, but this time imagine yourself responding differently. Imagine saying your true feelings and thoughts to yourself and to the other. Imagine how it feels to you in being able to do that, and imagine how it might feel to the other involved. See and hear their reaction to your truth. How does that feel inside of you; any different than what actually did happen? Remember how this felt to you, and then begin to deeply breathe again in 2 or 3 deep breaths, and then come back to the present. Write down how this was for you and what you learned so that it becomes more available to you. Again, would love to hear how this worked for you if you would like to share your experience.


We spend a great deal of our time in life protecting ourselves from perceived hurts from life and from others. Some of us take on the role of being a victim and so we go through life over sharing and being over vulnerable with others, bonding over our wounds and almost unconsciously asking to be hurt again. Others of us take on more of a role of everything being ok, and not easily asking for help and not easily sharing our true and vulnerable, underbelly selves. Neither extreme is one which is helpful to us, and yet we developed those ways of coping from our early life experiences. Which way of coping do you find yourself most resonating with?

Both ways actually keep us from being truly vulnerable in a life affirming way. They are defenses built to protect us from hurts. Defenses could also be called fences. These fences keep others out from our hurt selves and keep us in, really not allowing our further growth and expansion. We developed these fences as a way of surviving. Our old instinctive brains, our young developing brains, are all about surviving in a world that is perceived as dangerous. To us in this young developing stage of life, it is all about surviving and belonging. We need to belong in order to survive. We are willing to do almost anything in order to be part of our family group and to survive. This includes giving a part of us up who is seen as different or bad from our caretakers. It also includes building fences around us so we don’t feel the pain and hurt and so we can live. This old primitive brain then continues to rule us in life as we get older unless we are able to learn how to recognize what is happening and learn how to talk with our young selves as well as our older selves, creating a continuous dialogue between our old primitive brain, and our brain which is aware and rationally relating to us, to others and to events and things around us in the present tense.

Our old brains get stuck in the past and don't recognize that what is occurring now in our lives is not the same as occurred when we were young and experiencing hurt or trauma. Learning to be vulnerable with ourselves and others is a part of learning how to build a bridge between our primitive brains about survival and belonging to our newer, rational brains which can take in and recognize that what is happening now is in the present and not necessarily related to the past. What this looks like in relationships with others, is that we are able to recognize when we find ourselves withholding a part of ourselves and our feelings and thoughts from a partner or friend or colleague, etc., and are consciously and unconsciously protecting us from sharing how we really feel and how we really think.

I have one client who is over vulnerable. She over shares her issues and what is going on with her and how she is feeling. This over sharing comes from not trusting herself or knowing herself very well and identifying with being a victim. We don't always consciously realize when we are identifying with a victim mentality. This can come from having someone in the family, as she does, who hasn't led a good life, in her perception. She has an aunt who is mentally challenged from early birth trauma, and she has a sister who really struggles in life. This woman almost feels as if she has to struggle, and has to make things hard and doesn't understand why. This way of behaving seems to be vulnerable, but it too is actually a way she has learned to act that in fact prevents her from knowing her own self, her own true strengths, and vulnerabilities.

I have another client who seems so defended and like he has to be strong and be the fixer and the person people come to for help, not realizing he is not really being his true self and vulnerable with them in terms of being with his feelings. In fact, he is wounded, as we all are, and works very hard to cover up his wounds until he can't anymore. He attracts women to him who thinks he can fix them. Then when his vulnerabilities show up, they don't know how to handle it, and they leave him. His mother was an alcoholic who could be an out of control drunk, so to speak. His father was worried and asked his son, this young boy, to let him know when his mom acted up again. He did so, loving his father, and his mother and his father confronted his mom. Mom then knew her son had told her, felt betrayed, and turned on her son. She basically disowned her son; that is how it felt to him as a young boy. So, trying to please his father and trying to help his mother, he ended up losing his mother. As he grew up he became a busy fixer. This worked well except for when his issues reared their head in relationships with women in particular. There comes a period where his fears of betrayal and abandonment become a problem, and these women don't understand, feel betrayed themselves, and the relationships end. As this man learns to feel his feelings and to be vulnerable with himself, he can then be truly vulnerable in a relationship with others.

We all have a little of both within us. Some of us have more of the victim aspect, and some of us have more of the openly defended aspect. Learning how to be truly vulnerable with us and with our feelings is the path to our healing and living more whole, vital, and healthy lives.

Change Your Story/Change Your Life

Take a moment and breathe deeply. Get into the rhythm of your breath. Think about which you resonate with the most; the openly defended, or the openly too vulnerable victim aspect. Think of an example in your life where you had to defend yourself from someone or some thing. What was happening at that time? How did you feel about yourself? What, if anything, were you afraid of or anxious about? How did you respond, and how did the other person who's involved respond? How did you feel afterward?

Now, go through that event or conversation again in your mind, but this time imagine yourself responding differently. Imagine saying your true feelings and thoughts to yourself and to the other. Imagine how it feels to you in being able to do that, and imagine how it might feel to the other involved. See and hear their reaction to your truth. How does that feel inside of you; any different than what actually did happen? Remember how this felt to you, and then begin to deeply breathe again in 2 or 3 deep breaths, and then come back to the present.

Write down how this was for you and what you learned so that it becomes more available to you. Again, would love to hear how this worked for you if you would like to share your experience.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Change Is In The Air

Change is not easy for most of us. Letting go of a thought or an idea or of something or someone in our lives challenges us. This is true even if and when we know they or it no longer serve us. We are creatures of habit. What we hold onto is connected with our early need to belong. This holds true even on a macro level as we see with our government and our political beliefs and we see playing out in the world. Yet what we see playing out in a big way always begins with us individually; with our internal work with ourselves. We hold onto that which served us at one time in our lives. That time period has great meaning to our inner world even if that was in the past. Our inner world knows time very differently than our outer world; the world of defenses and masks we developed to help us to survive in our world.  I remember a conversation I had with a group of friends at Passover this year. We were talking about forgiveness. How do we forgive when someone killed a family member or when we witnessed chemical warfare perpetrated against us or when we remember the Holocaust and our own personal holocausts? How do we let go of the hurts that were perpetrated against us or that we perceived and experienced? That is where real change happens, through letting go of hurts. This reminds me of a long lasting conversation I used to have with my father. He didn't believe in forgiveness. He used to say that energy doesn't get lost and that you can't let go of something that happened, as it, in fact, did happen. I used to argue that forgiveness is about the transformation of energy, not a letting go of or losing energy. My father, although he helped many people in his work and was very wise in many ways, never was able to let go of and move forward from what he believed was hurts he received at the hands of his parents. He saw his father as being jealous of him and therefore as having had little to do with him. He saw his mother as a liar and as a mother who didn't protect him from abuse by a sitter and accused her of never seeing who he was or liking him as a person. Whatever the truths are regarding him and his parents we may never know. The truth most likely lies somewhere in the middle of everyone's experience. The important thing here is that he never forgave them. He was never able to transform his anger and hurt to acceptance, or to some kind of resolution with them, much less to love them in some way. If we as people aren't able to find acceptance with our parents, if nothing else, and we hold onto our abuses and hurts, how can we ever move forward in life to forgive others their trespasses?  Is it easy to find some kind of peace and acceptance or forgiveness with those that hurt us or tortured us or took advantage of us in some way? No, it is a very hard thing for us to do and takes very much internal work on our parts. If we don't, however, we hold onto the pain forever and it robs us of a part of ourselves and our own health and vitality. It keeps us from changing our own internal dialogues and we become set and rigid in our beliefs and stunts our growth. We then own the very possibility of perpetrating similar hurts upon others. Think a minute about who hurt you and how that felt and how you reacted to the hurts. How has it been for you in holding onto them? Has it felt good or has it robbed you of something vital? Change is in the air and all we have to do is move into it.  Shift Your Story/Shift Your Life:  On my website, www.bodypresencing.com, there is an interview I conducted with Katy Hutchison in which her husband was killed and left her with two young twins. It is a very inspiring true story of how she overcame the trauma and even made friends with and business partners with her husband's perpetrator. Click on Media, and scroll down to listen. I hope it inspires you as it did me.


Change is not easy for most of us. Letting go of a thought or an idea or of something or someone in our lives challenges us. This is true even if and when we know they or it no longer serve us. We are creatures of habit. What we hold onto is connected with our early need to belong. This holds true even on a macro level as we see with our government and our political beliefs and we see playing out in the world. Yet what we see playing out in a big way always begins with us individually; with our internal work with ourselves.
We hold onto that which served us at one time in our lives. That time period has great meaning to our inner world even if that was in the past. Our inner world knows time very differently than our outer world; the world of defenses and masks we developed to help us to survive in our world. 

I remember a conversation I had with a group of friends at Passover this year. We were talking about forgiveness. How do we forgive when someone killed a family member or when we witnessed chemical warfare perpetrated against us or when we remember the Holocaust and our own personal holocausts? How do we let go of the hurts that were perpetrated against us or that we perceived and experienced? That is where real change happens, through letting go of hurts.

This reminds me of a long lasting conversation I used to have with my father. He didn't believe in forgiveness. He used to say that energy doesn't get lost and that you can't let go of something that happened, as it, in fact, did happen. I used to argue that forgiveness is about the transformation of energy, not a letting go of or losing energy. My father, although he helped many people in his work and was very wise in many ways, never was able to let go of and move forward from what he believed was hurts he received at the hands of his parents. He saw his father as being jealous of him and therefore as having had little to do with him. He saw his mother as a liar and as a mother who didn't protect him from abuse by a sitter and accused her of never seeing who he was or liking him as a person. Whatever the truths are regarding him and his parents we may never know. The truth most likely lies somewhere in the middle of everyone's experience. The important thing here is that he never forgave them. He was never able to transform his anger and hurt to acceptance, or to some kind of resolution with them, much less to love them in some way. If we as people aren't able to find acceptance with our parents, if nothing else, and we hold onto our abuses and hurts, how can we ever move forward in life to forgive others their trespasses? 

Is it easy to find some kind of peace and acceptance or forgiveness with those that hurt us or tortured us or took advantage of us in some way? No, it is a very hard thing for us to do and takes very much internal work on our parts. If we don't, however, we hold onto the pain forever and it robs us of a part of ourselves and our own health and vitality. It keeps us from changing our own internal dialogues and we become set and rigid in our beliefs and stunts our growth. We then own the very possibility of perpetrating similar hurts upon others. Think a minute about who hurt you and how that felt and how you reacted to the hurts. How has it been for you in holding onto them? Has it felt good or has it robbed you of something vital?
Change is in the air and all we have to do is move into it.

Shift Your Story/Shift Your Life:

On my website, www.bodypresencing.com, there is an interview I conducted with Katy Hutchison in which her husband was killed and left her with two young twins. It is a very inspiring true story of how she overcame the trauma and even made friends with and business partners with her husband's perpetrator. Click on Media, and scroll down to listen. I hope it inspires you as it did me.


My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about saying no in the moment and regretting the decision later:


Thursday, July 20, 2017

Self Conscious

Self-conscious is being aware of one's self. How do we do the hard and necessary work of being aware of us and who we are and discern who we think we are and what we want to be from who we truly are? It begins with our self-talk. Listening to how we talk to ourselves and staying awake to us helps guide us to seeing and knowing who we are.

I had been working on a woman's astrological birth chart recently. In looking at her chart I saw a pattern which I interpreted a certain way. Our astrological charts can show us our basic nature, the nature of our early wounds, and ways with which we can work with our minds and our wounds to grow and be our potential in this world. Her birth chart looked like she had chosen a difficult life. Her mind was being pulled in many directions and looked like there had been a lot of strife and emotional abuse in her life.

When I actually met with her and worked with her, I quickly saw and felt and knew that she had been able to transcend the gnarly work of untangling the different pulls and directions in which her mind worked so that she was living who she is and her potential in this world.

We are all given different gifts and challenges in our lives. I have yet to meet anyone who has not had some struggles in life. It is how we work with the challenges that make the difference between being stuck and afraid and angry in life and doing the work of turning our challenges around so that we are able to live more in the present, without bringing our hurtful past into how we see and live our lives.

An example of this happened the other day. A couple came to see me struggling with how they would project something from their pasts onto each other. The wife would get triggered by an act by her husband which made her feel like she didn't matter and she would then over react, not knowing consciously what she was doing. All she knew was that she became inordinately angry. When her husband would do something which made her feel unrespected and which didn't meet what she needed at the time, she would feel like who she has had no value. We all feel this way sometimes. It was her reaction and the extent of her anger which showed her that this was, in fact, something far greater than not being listened to in the present because of her husband's needs at the time.

She was living in the past in her early mind, in the present day. Her self was not consciously aware of what she was doing. Her work and all of our work is to be able to become consciously aware of ourselves at the moment. In order to do this, we need to go back in time to address an early wound which affected and still affects us in the now. When we do this when someone doesn't seem to respond to our needs, as with this woman,  it is just someone not being able to respond to our present needs because of something going on with them. We are then able to be self-conscious in the best sense of the words. We then can act more as our true selves and see the other person for who they are. We can then live in a healthy, vital and wholeness which is our birthright.

SHIFT YOUR STORY/SHIFT YOUR LIFE:

When do you get self-conscious? What is going on in your life or in yourself that is triggering your hyper-awareness of self? Is it something you said, something someone else said, a look you received, a thought you had? Now take a moment and ask yourself how do you feel, or what thoughts begin circling in your mind? Follow that thread. Are you in the present or did they go to something in your past? Just notice. Now let it go.
If you get a chance, go to my website, and click on What's New and scroll down to the BodyPresencing Hologram and listen to the words and see if they help you.

My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about selfishness and taking care of yourself:

Friday, July 7, 2017

Gratitude Poem

Gratitude Poem

With all that is going on in this world, I woke up grateful. Remembering all the sacrifices our founding fathers’ made; for them and for us. The Father’s of our country, so wise and so flawed. We come from them and from so many. We come from peoples all over the world. I am so flawed, and so awed, and so full of love. Grateful for our country. Grateful for both the beauty and squalor around us Grateful for the opportunity to be alive and to feel Seeing the richness and diversity all around us; of nature, of peoples, of feelings, of believings. All has shaped us and shaped me. I can’t remember and can’t forget all my past pains As I go forward in life thankful to be, to think and to express All that I hold dear to my heart. In gratitude.

With all that is going on in this world, I woke up grateful.
Remembering all the sacrifices our founding fathers’ made; for them and for us.
The Father’s of our country, so wise and so flawed.
We come from them and from so many.
We come from peoples all over the world.
I am so flawed, and so awed, and so full of love.
Grateful for our country.
Grateful for both the beauty and squalor around us
Grateful for the opportunity to be alive and to feel
Seeing the richness and diversity all around us; of nature, of peoples, of feelings, of believings.
All has shaped us and shaped me.
I can’t remember and can’t forget all my past pains
As I go forward in life thankful to be, to think and to express
All that I hold dear to my heart.

In gratitude.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Spring Blossoms

Feeling the sunshine on our faces as we gaze out our windows, or sit in our gardens, or eat outside in a café, or walk around our neighborhoods is a glorious feeling. What springs forth in the springtime is often a manifestation of our winter dreams. What dreams did you have that you might experience springing out about now?  I work with patients all the time who share with me their hopes and dreams. It is so lovely to see their dreams coming out of them to be expressed in their lives and in the world. We can't express our hopes and dreams if we first don't give us permission to speak them to ourselves. Many of us have been squashed in our lives and haven't felt we had the permission to be who we are much less express our inner thoughts and feelings even to ourselves.  There is a gentleman who is engaged in an active process of rebuilding his life based on awareness and possibility instead of blindness and getting by. It is not an easy process in any way. The rewards, however, are immense. It is often such a difficult process that many people choose not to do the work. They tell themselves things like, my life is ok, or, it is too scary to change, or everything is alright, and so on.  This man, after many years of quietly working on himself in an internal way, has been able to break out of old, barely tolerable patterns and step out in an external way into a new way of life. Is he scared? Yes, he is. Is he uncomfortable? Yes, and no. The new way in which he is beginning to live his hopes and dreams is certainly scary for him, but in such a different way that the uncomfortableness of it is much preferable to the uncomfortableness of his old way of living and being. He is allowing himself to move from a very young and innocent place inside of him into a more mature and wise place. He is actively looking at the places in him that were squashed and were stifled and giving voice to his feelings as a child as well as to his older, more knowing and able self. He is speaking the unspeakable to himself. He is seeing his dark places and seeing the truth of his caretakers he had as a child and speaking the truth of his existence. He is risking losing his old sense of belonging and beginning to replace it with a new belonging in him. We are our own caretakers of our souls. No one else can do that for us. Our young wounded selves love to look for someone to save us. We step into our truth and power when we walk into being our own caretakers.  He is doing just that; stepping into letting go that his father or mother would be able to take care of him and save him from a place of knowing that only he can now do that. And, he is quite capable, now, of doing that. He couldn’t as a child. He is letting go of that part of his child so that he can grow up. He used to unconsciously look for others, especially women, to care for him. It is scary to give that up, but so rewarding. He now knows that this too shall pass, when he gets too anxious. So his inner spring is springing into bloom.   What inner spring is waiting for you to help to blossom?


Feeling the sunshine on our faces as we gaze out our windows, or sit in our gardens, or eat outside in a café, or walk around our neighborhoods is a glorious feeling. What springs forth in the springtime is often a manifestation of our winter dreams. What dreams did you have that you might experience springing out about now?

I work with patients all the time who share with me their hopes and dreams. It is so lovely to see their dreams coming out of them to be expressed in their lives and in the world. We can't express our hopes and dreams if we first don't give us permission to speak them to ourselves. Many of us have been squashed in our lives and haven't felt we had the permission to be who we are much less express our inner thoughts and feelings even to ourselves.

There is a gentleman who is engaged in an active process of rebuilding his life based on awareness and possibility instead of blindness and getting by. It is not an easy process in any way. The rewards, however, are immense. It is often such a difficult process that many people choose not to do the work. They tell themselves things like, my life is ok, or, it is too scary to change, or everything is alright, and so on.

This man, after many years of quietly working on himself in an internal way, has been able to break out of old, barely tolerable patterns and step out in an external way into a new way of life. Is he scared? Yes, he is. Is he uncomfortable? Yes, and no. The new way in which he is beginning to live his hopes and dreams is certainly scary for him, but in such a different way that the uncomfortableness of it is much preferable to the uncomfortableness of his old way of living and being. He is allowing himself to move from a very young and innocent place inside of him into a more mature and wise place. He is actively looking at the places in him that were squashed and were stifled and giving voice to his feelings as a child as well as to his older, more knowing and able self. He is speaking the unspeakable to himself. He is seeing his dark places and seeing the truth of his caretakers he had as a child and speaking the truth of his existence. He is risking losing his old sense of belonging and beginning to replace it with a new belonging in him. We are our own caretakers of our souls. No one else can do that for us. Our young wounded selves love to look for someone to save us. We step into our truth and power when we walk into being our own caretakers.

He is doing just that; stepping into letting go that his father or mother would be able to take care of him and save him from a place of knowing that only he can now do that. And, he is quite capable, now, of doing that. He couldn’t as a child. He is letting go of that part of his child so that he can grow up. He used to unconsciously look for others, especially women, to care for him. It is scary to give that up, but so rewarding. He now knows that this too shall pass, when he gets too anxious. So his inner spring is springing into bloom. 

What inner spring is waiting for you to help to blossom?


My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about selfishness and taking care of yourself:

Thursday, June 15, 2017

"Listening To The Rain Of Sadness" Poem

Sitting in my den listening to the rain of sadness  The never ending rain, my eyes want to give way to tears  I feel sadness in my heart as I begin to welcome the waves of rain into my consciousness  Waves of sadness, fear, lack of faith entertain me through the sounds of the rain drops. Will this ever end?  And the birdsong and hoot of my resident owl whom I have yet to see join me in my quiet reverie taking up residence in my mind  The peels of thunder occasionally making an appearance in a new wave of flash fall add to the murky soup of my consciousness  Creating a new song slowly taking shape…  The song of a rainy, sometimes stormy, day in nature  One with the silent beat of the trees holding fort and taking in the sustenance of nature’s water  The call of the birds simultaneously taking shelter and calling out today’s news  The drum beat of the skies tumult  The wind shushing through the foliage  All converge in my awareness creating a new dance in my mind  From one of dim sadness to one of the rhythms of nature and life  The rain of sadness transformed to the rain of life

Sitting in my den listening to the rain of sadness
The never ending rain, my eyes want to give way to tears
I feel sadness in my heart as I begin to welcome the waves of rain into my consciousness
Waves of sadness, fear, lack of faith entertain me through the sounds of the rain drops. Will this ever end?
And the birdsong and hoot of my resident owl whom I have yet to see join me in my quiet reverie taking up residence in my mind
The peels of thunder occasionally making an appearance in a new wave of flash fall add to the murky soup of my consciousness
Creating a new song slowly taking shape…
The song of a rainy, sometimes stormy, day in nature
One with the silent beat of the trees holding fort and taking in the sustenance of nature’s water
The call of the birds simultaneously taking shelter and calling out today’s news
The drum beat of the skies tumult
The wind shushing through the foliage
All converge in my awareness creating a new dance in my mind
From one of dim sadness to one of the rhythms of nature and life

The rain of sadness transformed to the rain of life 


My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about selfishness and taking care of yourself:

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

On A Walk

I love to walk and especially walk in nature. It gives me peace and a feeling of being a part of everything. I love the smells, the beauty, the trees, the insects, yes the insects, the animals…..I love it all; except maybe getting stuck in the cold and rain. I was taking a walk the other day with my dog named Crow. Crow is a female who has the coloring of a Louisiana Leopard dog. I had never heard of that breed, and yes, the breed exists. One of the ways I download from the day and disconnect from the virtual, digital world is to go walking, in nature and in the neighborhood. I was taking a walk the other day in an area in the country where I can have her off leash and she stays near me. She and I both love doing this. We had had some extreme rain events and the area was partially flooded so we took a little different route on an old railroad track surrounded by trees, a creek and lots of drying mud. We were enjoying our slightly bumpy walk on the old railroad ties, she was now on a leash, when we heard a cracking sound in the brush and suddenly there was a deer about 50 feet in front of us, standing on the track facing at an angle from us but looking right at us. We stopped and just watched her. She stopped and just watched us. We stood like this for a decent period of time, but time stood still. Then she faced us and stood there. We just watched in place. Soon she took one step towards us and stopped. We took one step towards her and stopped. This went on slowly for about 5 steps, each of us making our way closer. She slightly nodded her head, and I did the same. After a bit, she did it again, and I did the same. We were now about 15 feet from each other, she flicked her tail a couple of times, and the next thing I knew, she took off into the flooded woods. Crow and I looked at each other as if to say something in acknowledgment, and then we went on with our walk along the tracks. I had never experienced a conversation like that with a deer before. I think she was really intrigued by Crow and it was almost like she might have thought Crow was a fellow deer, and then suddenly decided that no, this animal was not one of her kind.  Communing with wildlife like that is something many of us have lost in our quest to be connected to the digital world. Take time to disconnect from that reality and open yourself to the wonder all around you and see what happens. This type of connection to all that is around us is one that is being lost. As we make time to be in nature and connect in a very different way, we become much more human and alive and vital.  Shift Your Story/Shift Your Life This exercise is a very simple one. Make some time in your day to just take a walk, or to do nothing and to disconnect from your phone and social media world and connect to what is inside of you and what is around you. Make a commitment to do this at least for 15 minutes a day for 2 weeks and see what effects that have on your outer world and inner world. Write down what you feel and experience so you can come back to your insights at any time.

I love to walk and especially walk in nature. It gives me peace and a feeling of being a part of everything. I love the smells, the beauty, the trees, the insects, yes the insects, the animals…..I love it all; except maybe getting stuck in the cold and rain. I was taking a walk the other day with my dog named Crow. Crow is a female who has the coloring of a Louisiana Leopard Dog. I had never heard of that breed, and yes, the breed exists.

One of the ways I download from the day and disconnect from the virtual, digital world is to go walking, in nature and in the neighborhood. I was taking a walk the other day in an area in the country where I can have her off leash and she stays near me. She and I both love doing this. We had had some extreme rain events and the area was partially flooded so we took a little different route on an old railroad track surrounded by trees, a creek and lots of drying mud. We were enjoying our slightly bumpy walk on the old railroad ties, she was now on a leash when we heard a cracking sound in the brush and suddenly there was a deer about 50 feet in front of us, standing on the track facing at an angle from us but looking right at us. We stopped and just watched her. She stopped and just watched us. We stood like this for a decent period of time, but time stood still. Then she faced us and stood there. We just watched in place. Soon she took one step towards us and stopped. We took one step towards her and stopped. This went on slowly for about 5 steps, each of us making our way closer. She slightly nodded her head, and I did the same. After a bit, she did it again, and I did the same. We were now about 15 feet from each other, she flicked her tail a couple of times, and the next thing I knew, she took off into the flooded woods. Crow and I looked at each other as if to say something in acknowledgment, and then we went on with our walk along the tracks.

I had never experienced a conversation like that with a deer before. I think she was really intrigued by Crow and it was almost like she might have thought Crow was a fellow deer, and then suddenly decided that no, this animal was not one of her kind. 

Communing with wildlife like that is something many of us have lost in our quest to be connected to the digital world. Take time to disconnect from that reality and open yourself to the wonder all around you and see what happens. This type of connection to all that is around us is one that is being lost. As we make time to be in nature and connect in a very different way, we become much more human and alive and vital.

Shift Your Story/Shift Your Life

This exercise is a very simple one. Make some time in your day to just take a walk, or to do nothing and to disconnect from your phone and social media world and connect to what is inside of you and what is around you. Make a commitment to do this at least for 15 minutes a day for 2 weeks and see what effects that have on your outer world and inner world. Write down what you feel and experience so you can come back to your insights at any time.

My soothing words of wisdom for the week are about living in the middle of a storm: