Do You Believe in Fun?

 “When you do things from your soul,

you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”

- Rumi

Today was a beautiful spring day, full of light winds, people flying kites, playing baseball, and mowing their lawns.  I had an opportunity to sit outside in the sun, just being and thinking; feeling the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair.  I felt alive and carefree.

I see many people in my practice who are so driven by their inner voices that control them unconsciously that they don’t allow for much fun.  Some people consider fun juvenile or a waste of time. Then there are the people who surround themselves with drama or think that partying and drinking is “adult fun.”  What is the difference between true fun and joy and forced fun?

One of the things I do with my clients is look at their belief systems: where they come from, who in their family carries these beliefs, and if they truly match their authentic selves; separate from their family, community, church, etc.  It is amazing how difficult an exercise this is and how resistant many of us are to looking at our beliefs.

One lady I was teaching said that in her family, in order to be part of the family, she has to carry the same feelings as everyone else.  All the while also having to hide those feelings and pretend that she is feeling just fine, thank you very much. In her family, there isn’t much room for being happy and joyful or just having plain fun. They have to suffer and then have to pretend they are not suffering.

Another woman I work with does just the opposite. For her, it is important to go out clubbing and drinking many nights in order to get away from her pain. She thinks she is having fun and being joyful. In actuality she is trying very hard to be happy and joyful by doing the opposite of what her family does; this way she thinks she is not being influenced by them and their beliefs. When we have to work so hard for something, is that really having fun? The more we try to be different from our families without understanding ourselves, the more we are really just like them. When we really don’t appreciate ourselves, or we run from our feelings, or we are controlled by blind rules that aren’t ours, we limit our ability to experience pure joy and fun.  

True fun and joy are often spontaneous and bring us a sense of freedom.  It involves knowing we are separate from and yet connected to our families.  “Adult fun” is the ability to allow ourselves to be freely and joyfully who we actually are. We might be goofy, we might love to laugh, or we might be serious and love to see funny movies. True fun comes from enjoying who we are and following the still small whisper that invites us into joy each and every day.

Healthy and Fun Eating and Lifestyle Tips

In the spirit of fun, here is a recipe that I have fun making and enjoy eating; especially in the Spring.

2and ½ cups of flour: mix half and half garbanzo been flour and rice flour.

1 egg

½ cup of stevia or xylitol

½ cup water

1 teaspoon baking powder and 1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon sea salt

½ cup butter

Mix the slightly warmed butter with the sugar. Add the flour mixture and the water. Beat in the egg.

Warm the oven to 350. Drop by large tablespoons onto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 20 minutes

Meanwhile wash and slice a quart of strawberries. Yes, it is the season! If you want, slightly sweeten the strawberries, although I think they are sweet enough without added sugar. Slice the biscuits in half and put a large dollop of strawberries on the biscuit. If you would like to add coconut milk cream on top, or ice cream, feel free and indulge!

I do make up my own recipes, and I encourage you to do the same if you are so inclined. That is part of my fun!

Enjoy

The Healing Power of Laughter

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow

                                ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”

- Marianne Williamson

                                                                                               

Have you ever teased a small kitten with a ball of string, laughing until your sides hurt?  Have you ever shared an inside joke with a friend and just thinking about it made you burst out in spontaneous laughter?  What about reading an entire volume of Calvin and Hobbs before going to bed?

Believe it or not there is such a thing as laughter therapy.  There is a doctor named Patch Adams who once suffered from depression and through his suffering he discovered the power of service and “helping others in order to help himself.”   From this painful experience he learned how to help others through a combination of medicine and laughter.  Yes, Dr. Adams is a physician and his most potent medicine is helping others to heal through the power of joy and laughter and fun. 

As both a doctor and a woman, I’ve found taking ourselves too seriously and getting lost in our pains isn’t helpful to us.  When I need a dose of fun and joy, I go and sit on the kitchen floor with my dogs.  My older dog, Showball, warms my heart and my puppy, Sampson, makes me giggle and laugh. (Puppies are definitely another form of laughter therapy!).

When I work with my patients, often when things get too heavy and we start taking ourselves too seriously, I change the dynamic of the feeling in the room and say something outrageously silly and funny and begin to intersperse some fun and joy into the treatment session.

I was working with a woman the other day who was having some pains in both of her arms.  We were discussing where her arms were hurting and what was going on in her life at the time the problem began.  Her left elbow was hurting and restrictive in motion.  Elbows can represent changing direction.  Her right shoulder was bothering her and she was describing how it is for her to have lost her husband two years before.  She also shared what it was like beginning to date and like another man. She was feeling guilty for enjoying someone new in her life and feeling like her husband would be angry and that she was being unfaithful to him.  The discussion was getting very hard, she was feeling difficult feelings, and yet she was having an experience in her life where more joy was being let in.  She was actually feeling guilty for having fun. I suddenly pointed this out to her, and we had a really good laugh together.  Believe it or not, this was a moment of fun for us both that helped with her healing.

Being able to laugh at ourselves, to have spontaneous fun, and to enjoy life is extremely important to our wellbeing.  Life is full of difficulties and challenges.  It is important to learn from them and also important to laugh, be silly, make time for fun and games and simply have some good old fun.  You would be surprised how healing it is to make time for fun, laughing at ourselves, and enjoying friends and life can be.  When was the last time you scheduled an entire afternoon or evening for fun, laughter, and joy?  If you can’t remember when, it’s been too long and you need to email me for a doctor’s prescription that will say, “Laughter Therapy is essential for this patient’s well-being, health and happiness. Take three times a day until your sides hurt from laughter and your cheeks ache from smiling.” 

Small Lifestyle Changes that Promote Big Results

Schedule some time for you to meet with a friend and have a coffee, or go out for breakfast, or play a game of basketball, or take a walk in the park.  Make sure you schedule some time weekly for this.  When you find yourself taking you too seriously, take a break!

Recommended Resources

Dr. Patch Adams is a physician and a clown who started an institute for compassionate healing. Yes, these places do exist.  You might want to take a look at his web site: www.gesundheitinstitute.com

Joy is a State of Mind

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

- Abraham Lincolm

It’s May; the lusty month of May.  It’s a beautiful month; filled with warmer days, blooming flowers and trees, animals shedding their winter fur, people shedding their warm clothes and walking, running, bicycle riding, and front porch sitting in the sunshine.  It is a time to get out, move our bodies, feel the sun’s rays on our skin and eyes, and take our dogs for leisurely walks.  For some it is a time for weddings or for falling in love with something new.  May is the month of picnics, gardening, and playing with grandchildren in the yard.  Oh, such joy!!!

When I ask clients about their lifestyle and how they try to stay healthy, they mention things like eating well, meditating, finding acceptance, granting forgiveness, practicing yoga, doing daily introspection, and exercising.  I often have to ask, “What about finding joy and having fun?”  An apple a day may (or may not) keep the doctor away, but fun and joy are even more integral to our happiness and vitality. 

I just received a phone call from my nephew so excited at seeing a large fish in the pond where he was fishing.  His voice exuded joy and there was no doubt he was having a blast.  It makes me wonder when adults stopped giving joy and fun their rightful place in creating a happy life.

As parents we put our children first, juggle work, parenting, household chores, cooking and more.  Here in the United States, we are lucky if we get two or three weeks off a year from our work.  Where does that leave room for such essential things like having fun and cultivating joy?

In the United States we don’t put a lot of value in making time for fun and joy.  In Europe and other parts of the world, they take at least four weeks off in a row to just be, or visit other places, and take vacations.  They also take three or more hours off in mid-day to rest, rejuvenate, eat, and then resume their work day.

Recently I was speaking with a male friend of mine who is a doctor.  He has four children, a thriving practice, and is always pushing himself to do and be more.  I asked him what he does for fun.  He looked at me, thought for a moment, and said, “I like to see my children do well, and that is what fun is for me.”  While that is a great sentiment, it still doesn’t allow time for him alone to have fun and revitalize himself.

For me, laughing with friends, seeing compelling movies, creating wholesome and unusual meals, trying new restaurants, reading a good book, watching the birds fly and talk, walking my dogs, taking long walks, seeing and experiencing new places, dancing around to music, and being with my husband are all fun and joyful for me.  In 2013, I want to make even more time for the things that bring me joy.  How about you?  I dare you to make more time to play and laugh and have fun in your daily round.  During the month of May I will share my stories of fun, joy, and delight if you will!  Sound like a deal?

Healthy Eating and Lifestyle Tips

One of the things I love to do is have fun in the kitchen.  Today I am thinking of what I can create that is a little different and fun to eat.  I decided to make a rice pilaf with other dishes; making rice more fun to eat with different flavors that burst in our mouths.

This is simple: I make one cup of rice. As it is mostly cooked, with just a little water still in the pot, I add two teaspoons of curry powder with coconut milk, and one teaspoon soy sauce. I then add slivered almonds, ½ cup raisins, and ¼ cup chopped cilantro.  For those who don’t like cilantro, add celery or celery root, or parsley.

This is fun, healthy, with a crunch and spice to add pizzazz.

Or if you prefer, take a cookie recipe for chocolate chip cookies and change it up a bit. Instead of wheat flour, I use 1 cup almond meal, and one cup oat flour.  Instead of butter I use either ½ cup coconut oil, or olive oil or grape seed oil.  Instead of sugar I use ¼ cup rice syrup and ¼ cup either xylitol or stevia for sweetener.  Then I add the chocolate chips, chopped nuts if you like, and even raisins or dried cranberries.

Try it and see if you like it. Feel free to share your fun recipes with me.

Here is to a more fun filled and joyful life!

The Serious Work of Fun and Joy

 “Joy does not simply happen to us.

We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day”

                                                                          - Henri Nouwen

We began 2013 exploring the Power of Choice which led us to Acceptance, then Forgiveness, and then Authenticity.  The month of May is dedicated to Joy and Fun.

When I began writing about the twelve Body Presencing™ Keys, I had no idea the journey it would take me on, how much work it would take, and how fun that work would become.  Finding the fun and joy in our lives, especially in the midst of things that can initially be challenging, is critical to our happiness and vitality.

When I first began writing these blogs I asked a creative writing colleague to help coach me in finding an authentic style that clearly expressed in words what I usually express through my hands with clients when I am working on them in my office.

Initially I resisted the writing process she taught me.  It seemed like too much work and not enough fun.  The irony was that part of the creative process involved looking up my name in Hebrew.  Can you believe my name, Gail, in Hebrew means joy?  Intuitively I knew that somehow the writing which seemed like such hard work was connected to fun and joy.  I just had to figure out how to find the fun humming beneath learning a new skill.

My whole life has been about activity; moving and shaking and working and playing.  I love moving my body and being active.  As a kid I played all kinds of games, was on a swimming team, and then got into dance.  As a chiropractor I use my hands and body to heal.  I’ve been involved in martial arts for over sixteen years now.  So who knew I would find fun and joy in the form of writing, a sedentary activity?

What I’ve come to enjoy is the process, the sharing, and the putting into words my thoughts and experiences.  I even look forward to finding moments in a day to sit down and write.  What was once hard work has become a great joy and a lot of fun.

Fun is not frivolous; it is very important and serious stuff.  Let’s make May a month of joy and having some serious fun!  It’s springtime, a beautiful flower-filled time when we can get out, enjoy the sun and warmth, and remember how to play with renewed vigor.

One of the best ways to begin adding fun and joy into our lives is to start with ourselves and to carve some time out every day to enjoy ourselves and life.  This means actually scheduling some time that is just for having fun and enjoying ourselves; even if it is only 30 minutes.  

This month identify and explore some new activity.  Tell your inner child to “go out and play.”  Take long and rambling walks with friends.  Plant a garden for the first time.  And if you’re already a gardener, then experiment with some new flowers, vegetables, and herbs.  Take that Tango dance class.  Paint with watercolors (even if it streaks everywhere and makes a mess).  Cook something you’ve never cooked – just for the fun of it, not because someone in your family needs a hot meal.

And remember, finding our deepest joy is sometimes a step by step process that might require some work to begin with.  Dance is supposed to be fun, right?  But to really enjoy it involves learning new steps, stretching your body to accommodate some unusual movements, gaining control over new exercised muscles, and making mistakes.  But once we do the work, voila!  Just as in learning the Tango, without some work we might not fully experience all of the serious fun and joy that is available to us.  And life is too short not to dance to the tune of our deepest joy.

Small Lifestyle Changes that Promote Big Results

Take out a pen and paper. Make two columns. Title one column, “What I like to do and makes me smile.” Title the other column, “What I don’t like to do.” And then just begin filling out the columns without censoring yourself. You might identify some things you hadn’t even consciously thought of or been doing in your life. Then, carve some time each day to go out or go in, and actually do what delights you. As my mother would say, “Enjoy!”

And if any of you have written in your column, cook some new and fun foods; I have some great ideas coming up in an upcoming blog this month!