Thursday, May 18, 2017

A Window In Time

We all live in windows of time. We often do not live in the present but in windows of time. When we are going about our days we are thinking about what we are going to do or wondering what is going to happen, or thinking about an event that had occurred or about what someone said to us way back when etc. These windows of time are ones that have an effect on us and also ones which we hope to have some control over in the future because of what happened in the past.  Many of us consciously work at being more mindful and being more in the present. Even so, and with the best intentions and discipline, we often do not succeed in this endeavor. That is ok, and how our mind's work so frequently, and is part of our human experience. When it becomes a problem is when we are not aware that we are actually living in a window of time and are acting and reacting as though that past or future window was, in fact, happening right now.   There are so many examples of this daily phenomenon that it is hard to sit down and pinpoint one. I will take apart something that happened inside of me today to give an example to this daily happening. I had recently become aware that I was having digestive issues again. I had experienced a bout of digestive distress in the spring and it lasted a few months. I then had a relatively easy digestive time for a few months. The last couple of days I noticed that I was uncomfortable again. I drew a warm bath with lots of bubbles and sat down and let the warmth soothe me as I went inside of me to see what was going on. What I began to see was that I had been upset about something that happened with our dog and we had tried to place him with new owners. It was extremely difficult for me. The new owners didn't work out and we got our dog back. Yes, this would be upsetting for any dog owners, but I knew there was a window of unconscious time I had gone in that I hadn't addressed.   I let my mind float in the warm water and a memory came to me. When I was 6 years old our family had made a very difficult move to a new city. We had left a place where families lived in a community and I had a lot of friends. We moved to a city and an area where there was not a community feel and it was hard to make friends. The friends I did make didn't live walking distance to me. I had felt very lonely and very sad. My dad worked all day and my mom was depressed and also alone in a new city. This was a repeated pattern in my young life. My parents had moved to a new city just before I was born, and when I was two, my parents moved to another city. All of these times left my mother very alone with her children. Here I was again, uprooted from friends and community and alone with my mom and siblings. It was such a great loss for me. Without realizing it, when we thought we gave our dog away, it reminded me of that great loss as he is a great friend of mine. I was living in another window of time at the same time I was at the present time. It was this unconscious window that affected my gut so profoundly.   These windows of time, when we can become aware of them, are a  very rich soil for us to learn, re-learn and to feel old feelings. That 'aha' moment is such a helpful one as it gives us words to describe what is happening to us at a feeling level. What window of time do you find yourself in today? And is there a window of time that you are aware of recently that can help shed some light on what you are feeling? As we find the connections and the words, we can impact our health and vitality on a very great level.  Shift Your Story/Shift Your Life  I can imagine you have an idea of the journey we are going to take together if you so choose. Here we go: Close your eyes and breathe deeply 2 or 3 times; deep breaths. Look at a recent time, maybe in the last week or two, and it doesn't have to be a deep time, and think of an event or a conversation with someone where you might have been responding not through the present event or conversation, but through a past one. Just breathe and take a little inventory of your recent past. See the images, feel the feelings, remember what was going on at the time. Now, remember how you responded. Was there a time where your response was not what it seemed at the time? Was there a reaction that now, in looking back, you can see that there was more to what happened than what seemed at the time? Take your time. When something comes to you, just see where your mind and memory takes you… no censoring, just allowing. Let the inner scene unfold for you. When you have an idea of what window of time you were in, just breathe in the full memory. Let it have room inside of you. Put words to your new found knowledge… what was really going on in me was… This is for you alone. If you wish to share later, that is absolutely your prerogative.   Now breathe deeply 2 or 3 times and become aware of your present surroundings and open your eyes.


We all live in windows of time. We often do not live in the present but in windows of time. When we are going about our days we are thinking about what we are going to do or wondering what is going to happen, or thinking about an event that had occurred or about what someone said to us way back when etc. These windows of time are ones that have an effect on us and also ones which we hope to have some control over in the future because of what happened in the past.

Many of us consciously work at being more mindful and being more in the present. Even so, and with the best intentions and discipline, we often do not succeed in this endeavor. That is ok, and how our mind's work so frequently, and is part of our human experience. When it becomes a problem is when we are not aware that we are actually living in a window of time and are acting and reacting as though that past or future window was, in fact, happening right now. 

There are so many examples of this daily phenomenon that it is hard to sit down and pinpoint one. I will take apart something that happened inside of me today to give an example to this daily happening. I had recently become aware that I was having digestive issues again. I had experienced a bout of digestive distress in the spring and it lasted a few months. I then had a relatively easy digestive time for a few months. The last couple of days I noticed that I was uncomfortable again. I drew a warm bath with lots of bubbles and sat down and let the warmth soothe me as I went inside of me to see what was going on. What I began to see was that I had been upset about something that happened with our dog and we had tried to place him with new owners. It was extremely difficult for me. The new owners didn't work out and we got our dog back. Yes, this would be upsetting for any dog owners, but I knew there was a window of unconscious time I had gone in that I hadn't addressed. 

I let my mind float in the warm water and a memory came to me. When I was 6 years old our family had made a very difficult move to a new city. We had left a place where families lived in a community and I had a lot of friends. We moved to a city and an area where there was not a community feel and it was hard to make friends. The friends I did make didn't live walking distance to me. I had felt very lonely and very sad. My dad worked all day and my mom was depressed and also alone in a new city. This was a repeated pattern in my young life. My parents had moved to a new city just before I was born, and when I was two, my parents moved to another city. All of these times left my mother very alone with her children. Here I was again, uprooted from friends and community and alone with my mom and siblings. It was such a great loss for me. Without realizing it, when we thought we gave our dog away, it reminded me of that great loss as he is a great friend of mine. I was living in another window of time at the same time I was at the present time. It was this unconscious window that affected my gut so profoundly. 

These windows of time, when we can become aware of them, are a  very rich soil for us to learn, re-learn and to feel old feelings. That 'aha' moment is such a helpful one as it gives us words to describe what is happening to us at a feeling level. What window of time do you find yourself in today? And is there a window of time that you are aware of recently that can help shed some light on what you are feeling? As we find the connections and the words, we can impact our health and vitality on a very great level.

Shift Your Story/Shift Your Life

I can imagine you have an idea of the journey we are going to take together if you so choose. Here we go:
Close your eyes and breathe deeply 2 or 3 times; deep breaths. Look at a recent time, maybe in the last week or two, and it doesn't have to be a deep time, and think of an event or a conversation with someone where you might have been responding not through the present event or conversation, but through a past one. Just breathe and take a little inventory of your recent past. See the images, feel the feelings, remember what was going on at the time. Now, remember how you responded. Was there a time where your response was not what it seemed at the time? Was there a reaction that now, in looking back, you can see that there was more to what happened than what seemed at the time? Take your time. When something comes to you, just see where your mind and memory takes you… no censoring, just allowing. Let the inner scene unfold for you. When you have an idea of what window of time you were in, just breathe in the full memory. Let it have room inside of you. Put words to your new found knowledge… what was really going on in me was… This is for you alone. If you wish to share later, that is absolutely your prerogative. 


Now breathe deeply 2 or 3 times and become aware of your present surroundings and open your eyes.

My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about when you are feeling down on yourself. If you just want to give up. Listen to my words of wisdom for more on creating a new mindset:

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Written In The Stars

Life is so much bigger than we are aware of. What we can see with our literal eyes is so little compared to what is possible to see. We see with what we know of as our belief systems. If something exists, but not within the awareness of our beliefs, we then don't see it; at least much of the time. What if I were to tell you that our genetic code is written in the stars above? Would you believe me? What used to be acceptable sciences are now seen as woo woo. And what also would apply is that what we now see as acceptable science at one time would have been seen as woo woo. The very moment of our birth and the arrangement of the planets in the sky at that very moment has within it's coded our very genetic possibilities as well as our ancestral influences.    In today's world, we call that woo-woo stuff astrology. In Plato's time, it was acceptable science. What I do know to be true is that we are greatly influenced by the dynamics and constellations of the stars in the sky at the very moment we first took in the air on our own. How is that even possible? I am not sure if I have all the answers, but I do know that everything is energy and everything has a frequency and vibration, and everything is influenced by things around us. We also now know that thoughts become things and that we have the power with our own words and our own beliefs to change certain outcomes in health and in energy. There is a great book out there called The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton that talks about this phenomenon. We are also now scientifically proving that traumas that our ancestors experienced, when unresolved in them, gets passed on down to future generations. Our children and our children's children can inherit, so to speak, certain anxieties, phobias, depression, and compulsions from their very ancestors; people they may not even have met in their lifetime.    If the above are true, then why shouldn't we also be influenced by the planets and stars around us? The astrological charts which depict the time of our birth also show us dynamics within us, what might be easy for us, what might be a challenge for us, and also how our minds work and what we think about and what we even obsess about. They also show us ways to find balance within us, to listen to our inner voices, ways to release inner tensions, and can also guide us to our gifts and to our souls calling. They can direct us to our wounded selves and to how to heal our wounds. All those things and more are right within our charts from the time of our birth.     I for one used to think that stuff was ridiculous. Yet I was also drawn to astrology and had readings done for my son, myself and others. At the same time, I was skeptical. Then I didn't believe in Chiropractic medicine and I am a practicing chiropractor. Then I didn't believe in the Family Constellation work but was also drawn to it, instinctively knowing its possibilities and its power. And here I am studying the art and science of astrology and using it to help us to know ourselves better, to accept us, to find ways to work with us in our strengths and weaknesses and how to interpret our young inner wounds within our charts so that we can work with them and understand them from even a different perspective. I am not interested in predictive astrology, but I am very interested in psychological astrology in its unique way to help us to understand and heal ourselves.     That saying, It is Written in the Stars couldn't be truer. Would you like to learn more about this and how it can help you? I am offering introductory specials through the summer where a 45-minute session can be yours for only 100.00. They are fun, informative, and can help you to know yourself and to accept yourself at even deeper levels. We need to have our best selves and strengths and self-love available for us, for our families, our communities, our country and the world now more than ever. The more we understand and love ourselves, the more we can understand and love others different from us. For truly we are all an integral part of the divine whole. We can then live vital, whole and healthy lives and contribute to the healing of us and the healing of the planet.


Life is so much bigger than we are aware of. What we can see with our literal eyes is so little compared to what is possible to see. We see with what we know of as our belief systems. If something exists, but not within the awareness of our beliefs, we then don't see it; at least much of the time. What if I were to tell you that our genetic code is written in the stars above? Would you believe me? What used to be acceptable sciences are now seen as woo woo. And what also would apply is that what we now see as acceptable science at one time would have been seen as woo woo. The very moment of our birth and the arrangement of the planets in the sky at that very moment has within it's coded our very genetic possibilities as well as our ancestral influences. 

In today's world, we call that woo-woo stuff astrology. In Plato's time, it was acceptable science. What I do know to be true is that we are greatly influenced by the dynamics and constellations of the stars in the sky at the very moment we first took in the air on our own. How is that even possible? I am not sure if I have all the answers, but I do know that everything is energy and everything has a frequency and vibration, and everything is influenced by things around us. We also now know that thoughts become things and that we have the power with our own words and our own beliefs to change certain outcomes in health and in energy. There is a great book out there called The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton that talks about this phenomenon. We are also now scientifically proving that traumas that our ancestors experienced, when unresolved in them, gets passed on down to future generations. Our children and our children's children can inherit, so to speak, certain anxieties, phobias, depression, and compulsions from their very ancestors; people they may not even have met in their lifetime.

If the above are true, then why shouldn't we also be influenced by the planets and stars around us? The astrological charts which depict the time of our birth also show us dynamics within us, what might be easy for us, what might be a challenge for us, and also how our minds work and what we think about and what we even obsess about. They also show us ways to find balance within us, to listen to our inner voices, ways to release inner tensions, and can also guide us to our gifts and to our souls calling. They can direct us to our wounded selves and to how to heal our wounds. All those things and more are right within our charts from the time of our birth. 

I for one used to think that stuff was ridiculous. Yet I was also drawn to astrology and had readings done for my son, myself and others. At the same time, I was skeptical. Then I didn't believe in Chiropractic medicine and I am a practicing chiropractor. Then I didn't believe in the Family Constellation work but was also drawn to it, instinctively knowing its possibilities and its power. And here I am studying the art and science of astrology and using it to help us to know ourselves better, to accept us, to find ways to work with us in our strengths and weaknesses and how to interpret our young inner wounds within our charts so that we can work with them and understand them from even a different perspective. I am not interested in predictive astrology, but I am very interested in psychological astrology in its unique way to help us to understand and heal ourselves. 

That saying, It is Written in the Stars couldn't be truer. Would you like to learn more about this and how it can help you? I am offering introductory specials through the summer where a 45-minute session can be yours for only 100.00. They are fun, informative, and can help you to know yourself and to accept yourself at even deeper levels. We need to have our best selves and strengths and self-love available for us, for our families, our communities, our country and the world now more than ever. The more we understand and love ourselves, the more we can understand and love others different from us. For truly we are all an integral part of the divine whole. We can then live vital, whole and healthy lives and contribute to the healing of us and the healing of the planet. 

Contact me to learn more.

My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about celebration. If you're focusing on the negative are you also taking the time to celebrate the beauty in yourself and around yourself?



Thursday, April 27, 2017

The Soulful Life

The soulful life is one that exists parallel to the daily life in our conscious awareness. The soulful life is not about the grocery list, the have to's, the should’s, the needs to be best, the need to be right, and so on. It is about moving in tune to our own internal rhythms. It is about being in touch with our inner knowing, and about trusting our gut and moving with it.  The movements in this parallel world move slowly and rhythmically. They move with an integration of our inner worlds. When we find ourselves rushing, or needing to make a decision quickly, or running from something, or trying not to feel, we have clues to our being out of tune with that world.   I had an interesting experience recently. I always considered myself an ok singer. There are times I sound good and am in pitch and many times where I am all over the place. My husband is a singer and a good one. I usually just like to listen to him sing or sing along with him and we end up laughing because I am not so good. I somewhere inside of myself made the decision to work on my singing voice. After over 60 years of life, I realized, with his help, that I am not a soprano, but am actually a tenor. With that realization, I find I can match pitch better and stay in tune. Wow, what a realization. I am finding my true voice. I have a small range and when I stay in my range, I sound pretty good. One day my husband heard me singing in the kitchen and thought he was listening to the radio.  What I was doing was finding my true voice; the voice of who I am, the voice of my soul. This voice moves slowly and confidently in life and stays within her range, not trying to be someone else or wishing I could be or do something that is not me. I found my range in life. Do I ever stray and go off into the parallel world of doing and overachieving, yes I do. Yet, most of the time I realize when I am doing so and am able to go back to my soulful way of living and live within my voice and range.  Our souls, our voices, are powerful in their own right. They don`t live in the world of the doing and the rushing and the not feeling. They live in a world of self-love and acceptance and knowledge of being their true selves. We can all do this, and it is also many of our tasks in life so that we can live our own whole, vital, and healthy lives.


The soulful life is one that exists parallel to the daily life in our conscious awareness. The soulful life is not about the grocery list, the have to's, the should’s, the needs to be best, the need to be right, and so on. It is about moving in tune to our own internal rhythms. It is about being in touch with our inner knowing, and about trusting our gut and moving with it.

The movements in this parallel world move slowly and rhythmically. They move with an integration of our inner worlds. When we find ourselves rushing, or needing to make a decision quickly, or running from something, or trying not to feel, we have clues to our being out of tune with that world. 

I had an interesting experience recently. I always considered myself an ok singer. There are times I sound good and am in pitch and many times where I am all over the place. My husband is a singer and a good one. I usually just like to listen to him sing or sing along with him and we end up laughing because I am not so good. I somewhere inside of myself made the decision to work on my singing voice. After over 60 years of life, I realized, with his help, that I am not a soprano, but am actually a tenor. With that realization, I find I can match pitch better and stay in tune. Wow, what a realization. I am finding my true voice. I have a small range and when I stay in my range, I sound pretty good. One day my husband heard me singing in the kitchen and thought he was listening to the radio.

What I was doing was finding my true voice; the voice of who I am, the voice of my soul. This voice moves slowly and confidently in life and stays within her range, not trying to be someone else or wishing I could be or do something that is not me. I found my range in life. Do I ever stray and go off into the parallel world of doing and overachieving, yes I do. Yet, most of the time I realize when I am doing so and am able to go back to my soulful way of living and live within my voice and range.

Our souls, our voices, are powerful in their own right. They don`t live in the world of the doing and the rushing and the not feeling. They live in a world of self-love and acceptance and knowledge of being their true selves. We can all do this, and it is also many of our tasks in life so that we can live our own whole, vital, and healthy lives.

My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about feeling polarized with what is going on in the world around us and finding greater perspective:


Thursday, April 20, 2017

Poem: Time

Lost in thought Looking out my window into the beyond, imagined and real In the past and the present at the same time Aware of my dogs at my feet and the trees and squirrels out my window And yet in another world Just as real, just as potent The world of my past The world of my body The world of the seen The world of the unseen Seeing shapes in trees and faces in flowers Putting words to the shapes and faces Where did those words come from? Some deep integral place inside of me Lost in thought Lost in memory Aware of time passing Not aware of time passing Here and not Time, what is time?

Time

Lost in thought
Looking out my window into the beyond, imagined and real
In the past and the present at the same time
Aware of my dogs at my feet and the trees and squirrels out my window
And yet in another world
Just as real, just as potent
The world of my past
The world of my body
The world of the seen
The world of the unseen
Seeing shapes in trees and faces in flowers
Putting words to the shapes and faces
Where did those words come from?
Some deep integral place inside of me
Lost in thought
Lost in memory
Aware of time passing
Not aware of time passing
Here and not
Time, what is time?


My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about the finding a balance within yourself through the conflict and strife going on around us:


Monday, April 3, 2017

Learning A New Skill

Learning something new keeps my mind healthy and moving. I love to learn. Every few years I find myself learning a new skill. Learning and adding skills to my toolbox is just an integral part of what makes me who I am. My latest gift to myself in learning is astrology. I used to think astrology was just woo-woo stuff, and yet at the same time I was drawn to it. I had my chart read a few times, I had my son's chart read when he was a baby, I had my nephew's chart done, and yet, I supposedly thought it was woo-woo.  In fact, I think I really thought that it was too hard to learn. I looked at the charts, filled with hieroglyphics and lines and triangles and geometric patterns and I was a bit overwhelmed. I would think, well maybe I will learn it some day. So instead I learned more chiropractic skills, then I learned the Family Constellation work, and I use them all. In fact, each skill I learn adds to who I am and what I can bring to be of service to others. I love to help others be who they are and to allow them to bring all of who they are to themselves and to others so they can contribute in their highest way in life. So recently, I asked myself, well, is it time to add a different kind of constellations to my learning? And the answer this time around was a resounding YES.  It was time to make myself sit and learn a new language; the language of astrology. With the help of a great teacher, Debra Silverman, and her mentors and the group of us learning separately and together, I began learning this new skill. What I love about it is that it does not woo, but does involve learning a whole new language, and this language is all about patterns, dynamics, and relationships of parts of us in relation to other parts of us. I am learning that astrology is about life. It shows us what we were born with, like our genetic and ancestral blueprint, and ways in which we can work with what we have been given to come from our highest possible place, ways in which we also come from our lowest ways of being, and all the possible ways of being in between the two.  There is a working family constellation all within us. The moving dynamics involves how the planets are moving in relation to us now, and how the moving planets affect us in our given birth rights. It also shows us how we can actively work with certain aspects of us if we choose, and how we can more openly accept us and even have so much more compassion for ourselves. We all have core wounds or places inside of us that were acutely affected by people and circumstances in our lives. All this shows up in our birth charts, as well as ways with which, knowing us and our blueprint, we can work with our wounds

Learning something new keeps my mind healthy and moving. I love to learn. Every few years I find myself learning a new skill. Learning and adding skills to my toolbox is just an integral part of what makes me who I am. My latest gift to myself in learning is astrology. I used to think astrology was just woo-woo stuff, and yet at the same time I was drawn to it. I had my chart read a few times, I had my son's chart read when he was a baby, I had my nephew's chart done, and yet, I supposedly thought it was woo-woo.

In fact, I think I really thought that it was too hard to learn. I looked at the charts, filled with hieroglyphics and lines and triangles and geometric patterns and I was a bit overwhelmed. I would think, well maybe I will learn it some day. So instead I learned more chiropractic skills, then I learned the Family Constellation work, and I use them all. In fact, each skill I learn adds to who I am and what I can bring to be of service to others. I love to help others be who they are and to allow them to bring all of who they are to themselves and to others so they can contribute in their highest way in life. So recently, I asked myself, well, is it time to add a different kind of constellations to my learning? And the answer this time around was a resounding YES.

It was time to make myself sit and learn a new language; the language of astrology. With the help of a great teacher, Debra Silverman, and her mentors and the group of us learning separately and together, I began learning this new skill. What I love about it is that it does not woo, but does involve learning a whole new language, and this language is all about patterns, dynamics, and relationships of parts of us in relation to other parts of us. I am learning that astrology is about life. It shows us what we were born with, like our genetic and ancestral blueprint, and ways in which we can work with what we have been given to come from our highest possible place, ways in which we also come from our lowest ways of being, and all the possible ways of being in between the two.

There is a working family constellation all within us. The moving dynamics involves how the planets are moving in relation to us now, and how the moving planets affect us in our given birth rights. It also shows us how we can actively work with certain aspects of us if we choose, and how we can more openly accept us and even have so much more compassion for ourselves. We all have core wounds or places inside of us that were acutely affected by people and circumstances in our lives. All this shows up in our birth charts, as well as ways with which, knowing us and our blueprint, we can work with our wounds.


My soothing words of wisdom for the week is about the little joys in life and the harmony going on around you.


Thursday, March 16, 2017

Stepping Aside and Being the Observer

A very difficult thing for us to do in life is for us to see our actions and reactions and patterns we repeat without feeling bad about them or judging them. Usually, we go into our habitual reactions to ourselves and we, with feeling and judgment, say things to us like, darn I did it again, or how could I do this, or I am so angry with myself, etc. What if instead we could just notice and without judgment say and feel, oops I did it again?  Being able to see what we are doing and even to be able to joke with us about it is truly a gift to us. When we judge or feel blame or shame we certainly aren't able to change anything. In fact, we make things worse for us and others. Noticing with a distance is a good step towards changing what doesn't work for us any longer.  I was working with a patient recently who was describing how she was getting ready to go out to a meeting which she had mixed feelings about. She wanted to go and knew she needed to get out and connect with others, and she also didn't want to go out that evening, that driving at night is difficult for her, and she had other things she needed to get done that day. Yet she couldn’t allow herself to just not go that evening without doing something which sabotaged her. She found herself getting some food which she knew would make her feel depressed so that then she wouldn't go to her meeting. She saw herself doing this. She knew that is what she was doing.  I asked her who or what this reminded her of in her life growing up. I asked if this was a pattern she saw in her and how long has she noticed this pattern. It reminded her of a bind she always felt with her mother. As a child, she wanted and needed her mother, but in taking her mother it was always at a great cost to her. So she needed her mother and at the same time didn't want her mother. It was a terrible place for her to be in as a child. She yearned for her mom, but at such a great cost. So she became depressed…..what do you do?  Growing up then she often found herself becoming depressed, especially when she wanted to do something and yet found that she couldn't do it. She began to identify with that feeling of depression. It became her, in a way. So here she is as an adult and now she is able to see what she is doing at the time she is doing it. She knows now that when she feels in a bind, instead of learning how to take it apart and see what is best for her, she notices that she does something intentionally to allow her not to go and to be in her familiar place of feeling too depressed to go.  This noticing, the place of the observer, allows her to take a vital next step. It allows her to then make a conscious decision to step out of that old familiar depressed place and instead of making herself feel depressed, to step forward to giving herself the power of just not doing something for her, or doing something for her. She can step aside and leave the old pattern and claim herself in the process. Oh joy, what a great place for her to be in, and any of us to be in. Then we can live the life we are here to live.  Shift Your Story/Shift Your Life  Take yourself on a little trip. Go back in time to see what kind of pattern you find yourself repeating. What pattern do you see yourself doing today that you find that you have done for many years, maybe from the time of a young child?  Close your eyes, and look at yourself from the distance of you being the you that you are right now. As you watch yourself blindly following an old pattern maybe of doing what someone else wants you to do or sabotaging yourself, or whatever, just watch yourself. Now take yourself to the present day. When can you last remember doing the very same thing, or same type of thing? Now, with the same type of distance, see you doing that, and now imagine yourself making a different choice and doing a different response to a person or situation. Take yourself to the feeling level. How does that feel? Take a moment or two and really feel it and breathe it into you. This gives you the power to make a different action to your old triggers and ways of being.


A very difficult thing for us to do in life is for us to see our actions and reactions and patterns we repeat without feeling bad about them or judging them. Usually, we go into our habitual reactions to ourselves and we, with feeling and judgment, say things to us like, darn I did it again, or how could I do this, or I am so angry with myself, etc. What if instead we could just notice and without judgment say and feel, oops I did it again?

Being able to see what we are doing and even to be able to joke with us about it is truly a gift to us. When we judge or feel blame or shame we certainly aren't able to change anything. In fact, we make things worse for us and others. Noticing with a distance is a good step towards changing what doesn't work for us any longer.

I was working with a patient recently who was describing how she was getting ready to go out to a meeting which she had mixed feelings about. She wanted to go and knew she needed to get out and connect with others, and she also didn't want to go out that evening, that driving at night is difficult for her, and she had other things she needed to get done that day. Yet she couldn’t allow herself to just not go that evening without doing something which sabotaged her. She found herself getting some food which she knew would make her feel depressed so that then she wouldn't go to her meeting. She saw herself doing this. She knew that is what she was doing.

I asked her who or what this reminded her of in her life growing up. I asked if this was a pattern she saw in her and how long has she noticed this pattern. It reminded her of a bind she always felt with her mother. As a child, she wanted and needed her mother, but in taking her mother it was always at a great cost to her. So she needed her mother and at the same time didn't want her mother. It was a terrible place for her to be in as a child. She yearned for her mom, but at such a great cost. So she became depressed…..what do you do?

Growing up then she often found herself becoming depressed, especially when she wanted to do something and yet found that she couldn't do it. She began to identify with that feeling of depression. It became her, in a way. So here she is as an adult and now she is able to see what she is doing at the time she is doing it. She knows now that when she feels in a bind, instead of learning how to take it apart and see what is best for her, she notices that she does something intentionally to allow her not to go and to be in her familiar place of feeling too depressed to go.

This noticing, the place of the observer, allows her to take a vital next step. It allows her to then make a conscious decision to step out of that old familiar depressed place and instead of making herself feel depressed, to step forward to giving herself the power of just not doing something for her, or doing something for her. She can step aside and leave the old pattern and claim herself in the process. Oh joy, what a great place for her to be in, and any of us to be in. Then we can live the life we are here to live.

Shift Your Story/Shift Your Life

Take yourself on a little trip. Go back in time to see what kind of pattern you find yourself repeating. What pattern do you see yourself doing today that you find that you have done for many years, maybe from the time of a young child?

Close your eyes, and look at yourself from the distance of you being the you that you are right now. As you watch yourself blindly following an old pattern maybe of doing what someone else wants you to do or sabotaging yourself, or whatever, just watch yourself. Now take yourself to the present day. When can you last remember doing the very same thing, or same type of thing? Now, with the same type of distance, see you doing that, and now imagine yourself making a different choice and doing a different response to a person or situation. Take yourself to the feeling level. How does that feel? Take a moment or two and really feel it and breathe it into you. This gives you the power to make a different action to your old triggers and ways of being. 

My Soothing Words for the Week



Sunday, February 26, 2017

Mind Go

Our minds are amazing instruments. We can learn so much from paying attention to how we think, what we think about, and the games our minds can play on us. Some of us have a lot of repetitive thoughts that circle around us and hold us captive in our own pens. Some of us have minds that never stop and just keep circling around and talking to us. Some of us have more quiet minds and we struggle to find words for our feelings or our images. Some of us have minds that charge us up and can not rest. Do you find yourself in any of these categories?  Most of us are a combination of these and of course, there are many variations of how our minds work. Our minds and how they talk to us are connected to our genetic inheritance, the  placement of the planets in the sky at the moment of our birth, the effect of our early wounds on us, and how we have worked with ourselves over the years to understand us and how we work and what makes us tick.  I am talking about how our minds talk to us. They do talk to us constantly and it is our job to understand it and us and to use it to strengthen us and help us to grow. My mind loves to figure things out and get to the root of what is going on inside of me. My mind also tends to be more negative at first in its reaction to people and events and situations which trigger me. I then notice my internal reactions and work with them so that the negative talk changes to my glass as half full. An example of this occurred recently. We had an incident happen at home in which an attorney contacted us for a resolution which had no need to escalate to this degree.  The situation could easily have been handled person to person. Yet it didn't. My mind at first went to the worst that could happen. Within 1 or 2 days, I was able to work with my thoughts to become more realistic and positive. I looked at what in me was triggered and came to peace with what happened in my early life and saw the connection from early events to the present. Then also, my mind was able to rest.  The power of our minds to heal and to change is immense. Many of us instead, rest on staying the same. I was giving an astrology reading to a gentleman recently and he asked for help in understanding what we call in astrology lingo, his Saturn. What this means is he was asking about the influence of a planet which is about discipline and hard work to help us achieve our soul goals, not just our ego-driven goals. He wondered about this in his life and wanted to know why it was so hard. I told him that those voices in us which are our task masters are our task masters for change. This thorn in his side is actually a tickle to help us to do what we need to do in order to get out of our stuck places, stop resting and resisting, and actually move forward. This Saturn is actually our friend and our task is to make friends with it. This was a new concept to him, yet it is this mind frame which helps us to work with our minds in such a way as to accept that our tendency is to think in such a way, and show us a way which we can re-frame our self-talk.   So, what is your self-talk like, and how can you work with and re-frame your thought patterns to ones which serve your growth so you can live whole and vital and healthy a life as possible?   Change your Story/Change Your Life:  So take a minute and a journal. Breathe deeply into this. What mental pattern seems to repeat in your mind; what thoughts are your repetitive thoughts? It could be I am not good enough, or I am not enough, or the worst is going to happen, or I might as well give up now, or… Now what thoughts like to penetrate your being? Write them down, whatever pattern or patterns you discern. Next, recognizing this pattern, how can you re-frame these words and patterns inside your mind? It might seem and sound foreign to you right now, but take some time and repeat these new thoughts in your mind a few times, and then write them down. Now, if you so choose, go to the deepest place you can and find out where and when something occurred in your life which made you feel this way that your mind tells you over and over. What was going on at this time? Remind yourself that this was then, and now is much later and you are not dependent on others for your well being and care. You can love and accept and care for yourself now. Breathe into this and again, repeat to yourself the re-frame you came up with a few minutes ago.  Write down your insights. Lastly, breathe into those wonderful insights.


Our minds are amazing instruments. We can learn so much from paying attention to how we think, what we think about, and the games our minds can play on us. Some of us have a lot of repetitive thoughts that circle around us and hold us captive in our own pens. Some of us have minds that never stop and just keep circling around and talking to us. Some of us have more quiet minds and we struggle to find words for our feelings or our images. Some of us have minds that charge us up and can not rest. Do you find yourself in any of these categories?

Most of us are a combination of these and of course, there are many variations of how our minds work. Our minds and how they talk to us are connected to our genetic inheritance, the  placement of the planets in the sky at the moment of our birth, the effect of our early wounds on us, and how we have worked with ourselves over the years to understand us and how we work and what makes us tick.

I am talking about how our minds talk to us. They do talk to us constantly and it is our job to understand it and us and to use it to strengthen us and help us to grow. My mind loves to figure things out and get to the root of what is going on inside of me. My mind also tends to be more negative at first in its reaction to people and events and situations which trigger me. I then notice my internal reactions and work with them so that the negative talk changes to my glass as half full. An example of this occurred recently. We had an incident happen at home in which an attorney contacted us for a resolution which had no need to escalate to this degree.  The situation could easily have been handled person to person. Yet it didn't. My mind at first went to the worst that could happen. Within 1 or 2 days, I was able to work with my thoughts to become more realistic and positive. I looked at what in me was triggered and came to peace with what happened in my early life and saw the connection from early events to the present. Then also, my mind was able to rest.

The power of our minds to heal and to change is immense. Many of us instead, rest on staying the same. I was giving an astrology reading to a gentleman recently and he asked for help in understanding what we call in astrology lingo, his Saturn. What this means is he was asking about the influence of a planet which is about discipline and hard work to help us achieve our soul goals, not just our ego-driven goals. He wondered about this in his life and wanted to know why it was so hard. I told him that those voices in us which are our task masters are our task masters for change. This thorn in his side is actually a tickle to help us to do what we need to do in order to get out of our stuck places, stop resting and resisting, and actually move forward. This Saturn is actually our friend and our task is to make friends with it. This was a new concept to him, yet it is this mind frame which helps us to work with our minds in such a way as to accept that our tendency is to think in such a way, and show us a way which we can re-frame our self-talk. 

So, what is your self-talk like, and how can you work with and re-frame your thought patterns to ones which serve your growth so you can live whole and vital and healthy a life as possible?


Change your Story/Change Your Life:

So take a minute and a journal. Breathe deeply into this. What mental pattern seems to repeat in your mind; what thoughts are your repetitive thoughts? It could be I am not good enough, or I am not enough, or the worst is going to happen, or I might as well give up now, or… Now what thoughts like to penetrate your being? Write them down, whatever pattern or patterns you discern. Next, recognizing this pattern, how can you re-frame these words and patterns inside your mind? It might seem and sound foreign to you right now, but take some time and repeat these new thoughts in your mind a few times, and then write them down. Now, if you so choose, go to the deepest place you can and find out where and when something occurred in your life which made you feel this way that your mind tells you over and over. What was going on at this time? Remind yourself that this was then, and now is much later and you are not dependent on others for your well being and care. You can love and accept and care for yourself now. Breathe into this and again, repeat to yourself the re-frame you came up with a few minutes ago.

Write down your insights. Lastly, breathe into those wonderful insights.