Showing posts from July, 2016

How To Replace Shame With Acceptance

"To realize that you do not understand is a virtue; Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect." -Lao Tzu I was reading a very long online conversation about shame, and some folks also spoke about the concept of healthy shame. I am of the mind that there is no such thing as healthy shame, but there is such a thing as shame, and there is such a thing as acceptance. When we carry shame of any kind, growth is almost not possible. Have you ever experienced feeling exposed and feeling bad about yourself? Have you ever felt that you were afraid to tell someone something about yourself; that if you did you may not be accepted? Those feelings are aspects of carrying shame. I think we all carry such feelings at some times. Hopefully, we don`t very often, and hopefully, we are able to recognize when we do and do the necessary feeling and thinking to transform our shameful feelings into acceptance of ourselves. We all make mistakes. We all unintentionally hurt people,

A Summer's Morning

The wind is dancing through the trees The sun's heat glimmers through the leaves I watch the boughs flow and bounce with the wind and the hazy sheen from the sun’s rays as they permeate the atmosphere I can feel the sizzle begin as I watch my dog’s tongues loll and gag about as they sunbathe on the back deck There is a quiet to the day as if all is hiding out in the shade…slowly emerging to the day’s heat It is a gentle caress from the tongues of the wind on my skin, tinged with languid warmth As I begin the day by walking my dogs to greet the summers day It is Father's Day, and I feel moved to write about myself.  This blog is about my journey in appreciating my father. Father's Day; Mother's Day, are holidays to remember and celebrate our parents. When we are little, those days may not have much meaning other than making a card for them or spending some time with our often busy parents. As we get older and have children ourselves, of

The Eye of Ego

"We must not allow other people's perceptions to define us."                                                                                                                 -Virginia Satir In the title of this blog, I spell the word, I, as eye. The way we look at the world and perceive the world and everyone and everything around us is dependent upon us and our ego. Our eye of perspective comes from our own unique, independent perspective. It is about us. It is this personification of ourselves which separates us from others. Yes, it makes us different, in a sense, and it also separates us. A bigger truth is that everyone has their own perspective and we all have egos which drive us, and most importantly, what happens or what is said by others is not usually about us, it is about the other. It is our reactions to others and events which are about us; it is our eye. I was working with a gentleman recently who is a very gentle, generous soul, and who perceives