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Showing posts from February, 2017

Mind Go

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Our minds are amazing instruments. We can learn so much from paying attention to how we think, what we think about, and the games our minds can play on us. Some of us have a lot of repetitive thoughts that circle around us and hold us captive in our own pens. Some of us have minds that never stop and just keep circling around and talking to us. Some of us have more quiet minds and we struggle to find words for our feelings or our images. Some of us have minds that charge us up and can not rest. Do you find yourself in any of these categories?
Most of us are a combination of these and of course, there are many variations of how our minds work. Our minds and how they talk to us are connected to our genetic inheritance, the  placement of the planets in the sky at the moment of our birth, the effect of our early wounds on us, and how we have worked with ourselves over the years to understand us and how we work and what makes us tick.
I am talking about how our minds talk to us. They do t…

When To Comfort Or To Coddle

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Being a parent is one of the hardest things to do. We never get it right, our buttons are always being pushed, and every one of our weaknesses comes out in blinding color. Every child goes through a period of time blaming their parents, and actually have every right to do so. With all of that, it is still one of the most rewarding things we can do in life; if we so choose to do so, to parent. In parenting, there is an issue that comes up a lot; when to comfort the child as opposed to coddling them. Another way to say this is that as parents, teachers, therapists, mentors etc., when are we comforting the child, and when are we really coddling them? When does comforting change to coddling? 
As someone who works with children in some capacity we know that at times what the child needs is to be comforted, and other times they need to be lovingly pushed or stretched. We can easily get confused as to what is best for the child at the time and we can give too much comfort when what the chil…

The Art of Listening

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Listening is tough stuff. Being able to put aside our own thoughts and ideas and perceptions as well as being able to listen through disagreeing with the speaker is truly an art. When someone speaks to you, how often do you stop what you are doing and thinking and feeling and truly be present with the other?
So often we are busy cooking or cleaning or getting ready for work or to go out, and also in our own thoughts when someone speaks to us. If you are like me and my husband, we find ourselves speaking to each other even in different rooms. The art of listening is truly an art and it also shows the other person that we care.
Another dynamic at play is that we hear the other person through our own filters. An example of this happened with my husband and me just recently. I had explained to my husband the other night how I felt about a television show we watched together. I thought I was very clear. I told him that to me the show was ok, I didn’t love it but I could see why it engrossed …