Thursday, October 20, 2016

There Is So Much We Don't Understand

"People try to make sense of things, and if they don't know the answers, they make them up because, for some, a wrong answer is better than none." -Ann Aguirre  There are so many things in life and that happen in life that we just don't understand. Things happen, people say things that don't make sense to us, we hear things the way we can and through our unconscious lens, and even synchronicities and intangible things happen that we can't explain. Can you think of such an example that happened in your life this past week or so that fits into this category?  I have a friend who calls unexplainable phenomenon by a term, imaginal. I like this term as it embodies what could be interpreted as being imagined, but gives it validity through making it a noun. I guess some folks call a phenomenon like this by the word miracle. However, it is described, trying to understand the un-understandable is an ongoing aspect of our lives. This is also true through helping others to learn about, understand, and put together pieces of their selves. In my work, I often help my patients to heal and to put their pieces of the puzzle together so they can live more whole, vital and healthy lives. This process involves traversing through a woodland to find their way out. When in the middle of the woodland, where it is dark and even scary, so much occurs that we attempt to shed light on so they can find their way out and to their selves. Doing this involves walking through the un-understandable. Many times the only way to find understanding is through our interpretations of feelings, events, sensations, and words which we work together to make sense of. This involves finding what makes sense to us, even though it might not make sense to anyone else. This is finding understanding through a terrain that may not make rational sense.  When I get in the way through my interpretations and through trying to lead, it never works. I have to let go of understanding and of leading and instead trust the process and open a door so my patients can lead, although often unsure and hesitant. We then feel our way through and sometimes find ourselves trying to make sense of what we don't understand. Here often our sensations and feelings and words that spontaneously arise lead our way. Are we right? We can't know. All we can know is what feels right to the patient. This is especially true when things happen when we are very young, and/or when a large trauma is involved, no matter what the age. I often liken the journey as Hansel and Gretel, although instead of putting out bread crumbs to help chart our course so we don't get lost, putting out sensations and feelings which are always there.   What do you do when someone feels a ghost or feels and is aware of the supernatural? We suspend our judgment and need to understand and let it guide us. Who are we to know and make pronouncements of what is real or not? Are they real or are they imaginary who help us to understand something vital in us? Does it really matter if they are part of the breadcrumbs that lead us to us; some part of us that has been misunderstood and put away or even given away? If we can put away our need to judge, make sense of and understand what is mutable and has different meanings to each person, we can then help to navigate terrain that is not understood to terrain that helps to find our way home.   Change Your Story/Change Your Life:  Think of a time or place where you felt lost and just didn't understand something. Now, instead of trying to understand what happened or what someone meant or what they did or said, or even what you saw, take a minute and suspend the need to understand and sit with unknowing.   Instead of going to those old places, sense how you feel or felt by that event or those words, etc. What sensations are you aware of? How did you feel? What did that bring out in you in terms of the story you began to tell yourself or where did that take you inside; to sadness, poor me, fear, visions of something or someone, old memories, etc? Suspend judgment and move with it. How does that vision feel and how do you feel? What do you begin to think of in your life, as in what does this remind you of? Where do you go in your thinking and in your life?  Follow those threads. Write down  what comes to you even if it doesn’t make sense. Again, hold back on tying it in a bow, and just let it sit with you, if possible. Keep this as a journal so you have your bread crumbs to come back to.  Feel free to let me know how this is for you and also if you get stuck and want a little help or push to find your way through this. We aren't looking to solve things so much as to learn about ourselves through much which is not understandable in the traditional sense. We are trying to know ourselves.

There are so many things in life and that happen in life that we just don't understand. Things happen, people say things that don't make sense to us, we hear things the way we can and through our unconscious lens, and even synchronicities and intangible things happen that we can't explain. Can you think of such an example that happened in your life this past week or so that fits into this category?

I have a friend who calls unexplainable phenomenon by a term, imaginal. I like this term as it embodies what could be interpreted as being imagined, but gives it validity through making it a noun. I guess some folks call a phenomenon like this by the word miracle. However, it is described, trying to understand the un-understandable is an ongoing aspect of our lives. This is also true through helping others to learn about, understand, and put together pieces of their selves. In my work, I often help my patients to heal and to put their pieces of the puzzle together so they can live more whole, vital and healthy lives. This process involves traversing through a woodland to find their way out. When in the middle of the woodland, where it is dark and even scary, so much occurs that we attempt to shed light on so they can find their way out and to their selves. Doing this involves walking through the un-understandable. Many times the only way to find understanding is through our interpretations of feelings, events, sensations, and words which we work together to make sense of. This involves finding what makes sense to us, even though it might not make sense to anyone else. This is finding understanding through a terrain that may not make rational sense.

When I get in the way through my interpretations and through trying to lead, it never works. I have to let go of understanding and of leading and instead trust the process and open a door so my patients can lead, although often unsure and hesitant. We then feel our way through and sometimes find ourselves trying to make sense of what we don't understand. Here often our sensations and feelings and words that spontaneously arise lead our way. Are we right? We can't know. All we can know is what feels right to the patient. This is especially true when things happen when we are very young, and/or when a large trauma is involved, no matter what the age. I often liken the journey as Hansel and Gretel, although instead of putting out bread crumbs to help chart our course so we don't get lost, putting out sensations and feelings which are always there. 

What do you do when someone feels a ghost or feels and is aware of the supernatural? We suspend our judgment and need to understand and let it guide us. Who are we to know and make pronouncements of what is real or not? Are they real or are they imaginary who help us to understand something vital in us? Does it really matter if they are part of the breadcrumbs that lead us to us; some part of us that has been misunderstood and put away or even given away? If we can put away our need to judge, make sense of and understand what is mutable and has different meanings to each person, we can then help to navigate terrain that is not understood to terrain that helps to find our way home. 

Change Your Story/Change Your Life:

Think of a time or place where you felt lost and just didn't understand something. Now, instead of trying to understand what happened or what someone meant or what they did or said, or even what you saw, take a minute and suspend the need to understand and sit with unknowing. 

Instead of going to those old places, sense how you feel or felt by that event or those words, etc. What sensations are you aware of? How did you feel? What did that bring out in you in terms of the story you began to tell yourself or where did that take you inside; to sadness, poor me, fear, visions of something or someone, old memories, etc? Suspend judgment and move with it. How does that vision feel and how do you feel? What do you begin to think of in your life, as in what does this remind you of? Where do you go in your thinking and in your life?  Follow those threads. Write down  what comes to you even if it doesn’t make sense. Again, hold back on tying it in a bow, and just let it sit with you, if possible. Keep this as a journal so you have your bread crumbs to come back to.


Feel free to let me know how this is for you and also if you get stuck and want a little help or push to find your way through this. We aren't looking to solve things so much as to learn about ourselves through much which is not understandable in the traditional sense. We are trying to know ourselves. 

Today's Soothing Words: Be A Gift