Monday, April 11, 2016

Joy To The World Poem

"Confront the dark part of yourself, and work to banish them with
illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your
demons will cause your angels to sing."
-August Wilson

Taking in the frigid blue of the sky
The brightness of the sun cutting through my inner gloom
Living within the dark middle of the tunnel as also knowing that if I keep moving, the light will re-appear to my eyes
There is a deep knowing that all is alright
There is a deep knowing that I am feeling growing pains as I am living through the unknown
Letting go of a need to know and feeling the very old, buried memories of a little child with no control, living with a very sad, depressed mother and a blind father
Feeling the uncertainty and even terror that I try to moderate with my mind
If I feel the terror there is a part of me that wants to give up, certain I will lose
There is a bigger part of me, growing by the day, that is certain I will win
The win is winning myself and knowing the light is always there
Even in the middle of the tunnel, the light is there
I feel it within and I feel my terror and I love myself as no one else can 
I feel the subtle joy in my belly joining with the memories of my anxieties in the lining of gut….always there and ready to pounce in an instant
The joy combines with the fears and something new emerges
A deep glow of understanding and empathy for me
As I revel in it as a dog revels in the good smells of the earth I feel a joy that transmits to others
Joy to the world