Friday, April 29, 2016

Holding The Pieces Together

Poem of Life

I woke up this morning to a clear day
The morning sunlight piercing through my early morning dreams
Looking out through my window of time I witness the opening of the budding trees, as they gracefully and trustingly open to the gods of nature
Each tree and bloom and unfolding is a  winking of their eyes at me and the world
Their silent social network greets the day and smiles at each other
Full of mischief and beauty they collude to their daily opening and gifts
Each day a further revealing of their inner workings and beauty
Until one day soon, they are fully unfurled
Joyfully contributing their essence to the web of life itself
And I just an active witness and contributor 

It’s May, the beautiful month of May. Everything that grows is going into bloom, and walking outside is a warming, colorful experience. The pieces of winter and early Spring , with fallen and broken branches, muddy and clumpy yards, stark and more barren landscapes while beautiful if their own right open up to bright and full vistas and the disjointed feeling of nature comes together in a beautiful expanse and explosion of color. The same nature of seasons happens inside of us. As we work through major issues and go into and come out of our inner dark winters, the pieces come together for us  in a new way and open us to new vistas and often colorful expanses within us.

I talk about the importance of seeing bigger and greater perspectives than that of us alone as we peer out at our families, communities, groups, countries, and so on. It is often too easy for us to stay within our own inner images and stories rather than to branch out and do the work involved in seeing us as an important, but a small plant in the greater whole, with each moving piece having their own story and perspective. We all together make up a whole. Again, the same holds true for our inner pieces. It is too easy for us to stay within each small piece of us that holds a memory or trauma or story, rather than to see that all parts of us have a story that needs listening to and learning from. It is difficult to do for many reasons as our brains are wired in such a way as to remember the hurtful and traumatic pieces as a way of survival. Re-learning and rewiring will take work, perseverance and a true commitment to us. Our whole selves matter.

I was working with a young woman recently who often feels as though there are at least three of her. At the flip of a switch often one of the three parts of her speaks to her. One of the parts of her she would rather not look at and feel as holding and feeling the pain is very difficult. This particular part carries with it many negative feelings and thoughts. So I had her do an exercise which I invite you to do with me.

In one hand hold one part of you; maybe a part that feels one way about a person or a situation or an event or a memory. In the other hand hold another part of you that feels a different way than the first. You see, both sets of thoughts and feelings hold some truth that needs to be seen and heard and felt. If you have many hands, so to speak, many parts of different and yet valuable information, you could put out some footsteps or shoes that symbolically hold another part and perspective that you carry. Now feel how each feels. Is one different than another? If you also put out footsteps, then go and stand on them to see what is going on with each set. What do you notice? Again, how are they different, the same, and what happens with each in your reactions to them. Do you want to let one go? Do you feel one as heavier than the other or one lighter than the other? Is there a feeling in one that is had to hold or find you don't want to hold? Hold them all so to speak, while acknowledging that they all have a voice that is part of you and that holds some truth in them. If you feel you can, begin to turn one or another in such a way that they can also begin to see each other and maybe even hear each other. How is that? Check in with all the voices and parts. If some of you feel you can even bring them closer to each other, then begin to do so, but very slowly so you can be aware if it is too much for one, or not. In this exercise, we are just noticing what is happening. Now go back to their original positions and just take a moment to register the parts of you. Take them in. They are all inside of you and each part is important. Breathe them in. When you are ready, you can bring your hands down, and if you have footsteps, you can put them up.


Take a few minutes and write down your experience. Each part of us is important and these pieces make up our whole, and as we can be as whole as possible, our world explodes in beauty and color.