"Some of us think holding on makes us stronger, but sometimes it is letting go.”
I was sitting on a bench in our city park the other day. It was still sunny and warm enough to feel the sun`s rays penetrate my whole being. It is a part of our park which is kept natural and is like being in a clearing in a woodland. It is one of my favorite places. I was sitting there and closing my eyes and blending in with the environment. I was just one little part of everything. I could hear the birds talking, the wind whistling through the tree branches, the distant sounds of cars, the occasional distant sound of a siren, and my own breathing all co-mingling. I was one with it all. Have you ever had that experience of just being one with everything around you? It reminds me so much of how we are all one with everything and everybody, and that we in a sense have so much of everything within us.
Through this past year as I was living my life, so much has happened, not only with me in my own little life but with everyone and every place in this world. Just in this last year, I personally have dealt with the family illness of cancer in the family, with heart attacks in the family, and with the failing and passing of my father. All this while I personally was having my own growing pains. This is all a part of life. In addition, we all have everything within us. We have feelings of all kinds; sadness, anger, happiness, resentment, denial, needing to be right, feeling lack and not good enough, and so on. We also have many different parts of us; parts which stopped growing and developing because of trauma and difficult situations, so we are all at once, all of our ages all within us all with their own voice. Holding all our internal voices can be difficult, but also rewarding. On top of this, I love the layering process. We all have parts of our parents, our siblings, our grandparents, our great-grandparents, our aunts, and uncles, etc. inside of us. They are in us through genetics, through blood, through memories, through beliefs and thoughts we carry because they are in our lives influencing us, and through plain old love.
We have so much inside of us residing in us. Most of us struggle with our parents and our families and our communities. Many of us have had bad experiences and traumatizing experiences, and times with untimely deaths and illness, times of loss, and also have had happy and growth producing times. All of this enriches us and gives us the power to become all that we can be and who we are and what we contribute to this world. This is true for everyone. Like it or not, we are all one. We are all in different parts of our growth and our consciousness and yet we all have to go through the same processes to grow.
Having our parents and families within us can be a difficult experience for us. Pretending that is not true and holding our heads in the sand does not change that fact. And also, the truth is that this can be what helps us to grow, to be the people we want to be and have the power to be. The challenge is in learning and knowing how to use ourselves and our experiences to open and grow and become more us without all the packaging of our feelings of needing to be right, or defaulting to being angry, of reacting to people and events instead of being able to be with our own thoughts and feelings, of defending ourselves, of feeling envious of others or jealous, or coming from a place of feeling not good enough, for examples.
I have aspects of my father and mother within me like it or not. So does everyone. As I accept it and see what I have taken within me and look at what I like and what I don`t, I begin to have some control and consciousness of who I am. I can decide what I take in and what I don`t when I know myself and know the difference between who I am and who I want to be and who they are. This is the power of the biology of belief; as we change our internal stories through awareness, we can change so many things in our lives. We all can do this. Today, I came to this place through just sitting on a bench in a wooded clearing and feeling just a part of everything around me. There is so much that is possible for all of us. We can all live healthy, vital, whole and connected lives.
GUIDED EXERCISE: SHIFT YOUR STORY SHIFT YOUR LIFE
Why don`t we all do this sitting on a bench, so to speak, as an exercise? Get a comfortable seat and place your feet gently upon the ground beneath you. Take a couple of deep breaths and tune into yourself. Tune into your breathing, and begin to feel your body on the chair, how it feels, where you hold tension, where you feel the excitement, where you hold your feelings, and so on.
Become aware of the sounds around you. Just open your ears and listen. What do you hear? If you are inside, do you hear your furnace, any animals you might have moving around, your own breathing, the sounds of others around you, the creaking of your house, etc. If you are outside, the sounds of the birds, of the trees, of cars or planes, of people and animals, and so on. Just listen. Smell the smells around you, and just smell them as you also might begin to be aware of your own smells. Imagine touching the space around you, seeing a color, tasting the atmosphere, if this is part of how you take in information. Just breathe and be. Sit and breathe with this awareness and any feelings that come up for you, or even any memories that come up for you. Just be.
Breathe a few deep breaths and come back to being aware of your body and your body on the chair that is holding you. Feel any tension you may carry. And slowly open your eyes.
Take notice of how you feel and how it felt to be one with everything around you. For, in fact, we are all connected.