What Takes Away Your Energy?

“Change always comes bearing gifts.”

-Price Pritchett

Life can be so funny….when we are in the depths of winter, we crave warmth, and when it heats up, we crave cold. This June, as temperatures begin to soar and life begins to heat up we find ourselves out and about later in the evenings; my thoughts tend to go to how the grass is often greener on the other side.

The more I am with this thought, the more I understand that it seems part of our nature is to want something we don’t have and to want to be someone we are not. If we spent as much attention to who we are instead of who we aren’t, we would be way ahead in the game of life.

What does this have to do with our energy? Well, when we wish to be someone or something we are not, it takes our energy away. Much of my work involves helping others to know who they are and to allow themselves to be who they are in all their glory. Many of my patients come to me tired, fatigued and drained. It is like there is an underground river taking their energy away. I say underground because it is a source, they are not aware of, beyond their consciousness.

What empowers us and allows things to flow is when we are who we are in our bodies, minds and soul. They all have to be connected. When traumatic things or events occur in our lives, to varying degrees, often a part of us stays back in that place in time. It is like we get frozen in that time. That frozen age then stays with us and robs us of who are and what we can become. Often, with that trauma comes the beliefs, ‘I am not good enough or they would have stayed,’ ‘I am a bad person,’ ‘one has to be such and such to be part of the family,’ etc. Those beliefs, unconsciously, can become who we think we are causing us to act in such a way to keep it the same. This underground river of belief robs us of our energy and vitality.

There is a man who had a major trauma in his life at the ripe old age of 17. His mother found a little bit of marijuana in the bottom of his clothes drawer. What she was doing looking through his things, I don’t know. She had an uncle who was an alcoholic, addicted to prescription medications and who knows what else. This man had been drinking, drove and crashed into a truck killing her sister, who was a passenger in his car. That event traumatized his mother. When she found marijuana in his drawer, she went temporarily crazy, and kicked this young man out of the house. There was no preparation, no warning; just out immediately. When she looked at her son she saw her fears and not her son.

Today this man is in his fifties and still, in some ways, lives as if he is 17. In a way, he is frozen in time. He lives in fear and has difficulty being successful in life, health and relationships. He doesn’t feel good enough. He also has illnesses and physical disabilities which keep him from working and keep him occupied. He chooses life situations which are not good for him and has struggled with addictions over the years. 

The underground river of trauma still lives in him as if it happened today. What really didn’t have anything to do with him, as to who he is as a person, was given life as if it was and is him.

As we gently extricate him from his false self it slowly frees him to live and be who he really is and to have life and energy to grow and change and be vital and healthy.

Small Lifestyle Changes that Promote Big Results:

Awareness and self truth help us to grow and change.  A simple exercise you can do is to take a sheet of paper and write out when you feel energetic. In other words, what gives you energy. Look at the different categories of at home, at work or work related, relationships, financial, and health and/or lifestyle habit(s) like food and exercise. Write or list these out.

On a separate sheet of paper write out what drains your energy. Again, look at the different categories of relationships, financial, home, work health and lifestyle. You can also just list what drains you or write a statement or sentence.

Now, take the two sheets and compare them. Usually what you will see you already know on some level. This just helps to see it more clearly and bring it to the surface of your consciousness. It will also show you where you give yourself away.

Then, take a few minutes and see how you can incorporate some changes into your life so you can live a more conscious and energetic and vital life.