Thursday, May 29, 2014

June Bugs: What Is Bugging Us?

“If you are in a bad situation, don’t worry it’ll change. If you are in a good 
situation, don’t worry it’ll change.”
-John a. Simone, Jr.

June is here. It is the end of spring and we begin to feel the heat of summer on its heels. I almost wrote heals instead of heels. It is also true that the sun’s warm rays do help to heal us. And yet, like most of us, there are things which just plain bother us, or bug us.

This month of June, I will talk more about how things that bug us also keep us tied to things and events and memories from the past. As the summer steps in and heats up, I will move more into the present. I work with people in the here and now to help them address the present so they can absolutely affect their future in a new and positive way.

Have you ever seen June bugs? They are crunchy, medium sized bugs that usually come out at night when we are sleeping. I once had the privilege of seeing an ocean of them on my living room floor when I was little. There was an infestation of them in our house. What bugs us is not only something which keeps us in the past, but also can lead us to our way out.

Here is an example. I have a client who is bugged by her husband’s inability to remember even the simple things. They have two children together, and with the need to work together to raise their children, this can be difficult at best. For her, it is very frustrating. What I like to do for my clients is to get to the root of the “bugging”. I like to ask questions like: what is the worst thing that would or could happen if…?  In this case, it was his not remembering to pick up his child from school. I look for where this takes them in their minds and their memories. This could go so many ways; if he isn’t picked up I am afraid that he would feel lost. If he felt lost I am afraid that he would be alone. Then I go to, when were you left alone? How old were you? 

Secondly, I tell them that this feeling you have is yours, and is only yours. Whatever your husband says or does or doesn’t do is his, and only his. I am being generic here, just talking us through the steps that help us out of our present reactions.

Talk to your little one and help him/her to see how she has kept this feeling alive for many years and maybe it is time to let it go.

Help your little voices inside to act differently and not to react out of anger or fear, as in this woman’s case. Instead she can ask herself the question: “what would a person say or do here if she wasn’t triggered by her husband?”

Then allow yourself to respond in this new way. This is difficult, and yet, it is much easier than keeping allowing yourself to be “bugged” by your husband all the time; or whatever you are being bugged by.

Sometimes we have to do these steps many times a day. And, by following them, they can lead us out of the darkness where the June bugs come out, and into a lighter place where more things are possible, and we can live more whole and vital lives.


Guided Visualization/Exercise to Shift your Story and Shift Your Life

I would recommend taking an example in your own life and following the steps as I outlined above. 

What gets your goat, bugs you and keeps you from feeling and living your birthright? It could be with your finances, your relationships, your health, your job or career or whatever. Write out these steps and if you feel like it, journal how it goes for you. If you do journal you will have a written record of your progress. This is especially helpful when you forget how far you have come; and of course, the reverse, when you think you have come so far and find out, oops, there is more to go.

I would love to hear how it goes for you.