“It is difficult to see the picture
when you are inside of the frame.”
The third Body Presencing™ Key that unlocks the secrets of health, wholeness and vitality is Forgiveness. For many of us the hardest person or persons in our lives to forgive is our mother and father. They take the brunt of our blame. Their job, after all is to love us, keep us safe, introduce us to life and to the world. The problem is that we are not perfect and our parents, at best, can only be “good enough”. Fault lines live in our family trees. In our lives tragedies occur, people leave, people die young, people take advantage of others, and on and on. These events leave repercussions for the future generations. These repercussions live as systemic fault lines that get carried forward and deepen with time unless and until someone or ones can witness and understand them, feel compassion, and ultimately forgive.
February is the month of my mother’s birth. She was born towards the end of the month. She died a few years ago, and as the month of February unfolds I usually see reminders of her everywhere as if she is around me. One of the ways I feel and see her is through birds; especially hawks. Hawks also have the ability to see with great perspective as they fly high above us, looking for what gives them sustenance. It is almost as if when she is visiting from high she swoops into my vision so I can see her. Hawks and I have an affinity and I see them often swooping around and over me. I like to imagine that often they are my mother. I speak of her here because when I was growing up, and for most of my life I did blame her. I was angry with her. It wasn’t until the last three years of her life that I was able to see her through a different and higher perspective, much like hawks, and accept her for who she was and really feel love for her.
For most of my life I believed that my mother had rejected me. She had a difficult life with her parents and she was depressed, had four children in six years for my father because he wanted lots of children, and she was overwhelmed. I can’t remember us being close, but I can remember wanting it and yearning for her. She was unavailable. I even have a visceral memory from when I was small of her holding me and I didn’t like it. Her arms around me felt rough and hard. The belief I carried was that she rejected me. When I had my first family constellation experience, I had an epiphany. I saw so clearly how not only did I feel rejected by her, but I had rejected her. I was the one who had rejected her. That was so revolutionary to me. I came home and one of the first things I did was to call her and apologize. I told her that I had rejected her and I was sorry. She told me that she knew that, and that it was okay. Isn’t that amazing? The road back together wasn’t easy though because she hadn’t changed. I had changed. But it was a great beginning. I had a new perspective, like the hawk, that changed my life. I had rejected the sustenance she offered. It wasn’t perfect, but it was what she had to offer.
It is easy to blame our parents. What we may not realize is that when we blame our parents and reject them, we then live our lives rejecting pieces of ourselves. This happens because we come through and from our parents. They are responsible for our genetics, for the history that is carried in the family, and also for teaching us how to love. When we reject them we cut off our connection to our past and we cut off our connection to them. What we reject comes back later to haunt us through later issues we carry through life like illness, fatigue, lack of success and happiness, and then we see it again in our children through their issues.
When we fly like the hawk and are able to look with a much larger perspective at a greater picture we then can see and feel things shift within us. The key of forgiveness becomes attainable. With choice, acceptance and now forgiveness all things become possible for a life of health and vitality!
To learn more about this powerful work which uses the gift of the larger picture to help to shift your inner story, go to my website www.bodypresencing.com. Scroll down the home page until you see a tree with Family Constellations and click on it. The gift of a new inner image can change your life; and also the lives of the future generations.
You can also try out Family Constellations personally and directly. It can be done one on one, or in a group setting. I have two groups coming up which might interest you: March 10, and April 21. These are my introductory Afternoon of Constellations. To read about these events, go to here. You can also try an individual session. Both venues are helpful and powerful tools to use on your way to forgiveness!