Breakfast With My Father

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

                                                                  -Leo Tolstoy

We are forever connected to and with our families and caretakers. Often it takes years for us to learn who we are separate from our families. We are greatly influenced by their ideas, beliefs, ways of operating in the world, and it isn’t until teen years and older that we begin to see that their way may not be ours. In addition, we begin to discover that their way is not the only way or the normal way; it is their way.

Their way is also influenced by their families. When we view a parent as being sad or depressed or abusive, as we grow older and do our inner work, we can begin to see that maybe they are sad or abusive as a repetitive pattern from their parents, and so on. These patterns are repeated by us in a compulsive way unless and until we can become conscious and we separate our true selves from theirs. This year, 2015, I am writing blogs which do three things simultaneously: talk about stories in my patients lives which are examples of what I am learning in my life and work, stories from my own life and family and how they have impacted me, and a memoir of my father’s life including some of his written correspondence and pictures as they pertain to the dynamics I am talking about in our lives. I will call this a living memoir to my father, to his impact on me and my life, and how I am working with this, working model, to share with my patients and you. 

It is a working memoir and a tribute to my father and a way to honor the good work he did in his life. I want to pass on what I am learning, even from a personal standpoint, to help us all live full, vital, and healthy lives, in connection with our true selves. Each month I am discussing a different story from my life as a child of my father’s, and explore it in context what I am learning from working with my patients. This is a memoir, a tribute, a way of honoring where I came from so I can help our future, and examples of how I use this learning to help others.

In my family, a ritual which had meaning to us was breakfast. Breakfast, especially Sunday breakfast brought us all together, me, my siblings, my father, and sometimes my mother in a way we didn’t come together at other times. It also is a great example of the difficult with the good, all rolled up in one. This is life. Almost everything has a mixture of good and bad. It is by embracing it all that we can learn about ourselves and nurture ourselves at a deep level, and grow. 

We birth ourselves at lest twice in our lifetimes. The first birth is from our mother’s womb. The second birth is our own birth into a life without illusions, where we birth ourselves consciously into the world. This is who we are separate from other’s ideas, beliefs, and our ways of surviving in this world.  Another tool I use is understanding the body’s language combined with energy medicine to help align and connect us with our whole self. Each will also have a portion at the end of the blogs which include meditations and visualizations and recommendations which help me and my patients along our paths. This living work is a metaphor for how we function in this world, how our parents have influenced us, and what brings us together as people and what sets us apart.

I welcome any of your insights, ideas, and anything you might like to see added that I might not have thought of, or what you find yourself going through at this time in your life. I hope you feel free enough to contribute. This is a living work, and I invite you to be part of its movement.

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Much of this body of work will include pictures, stories, and correspondence. It also is about the tools I use to work with my patients and help them to birth themselves. 

One of the tools I use is the body of work called Family Constellations. You can read more about this on my website, www.bodypresencing.com., click on Family Constellations and read on. There are also included a couple of cases which help to more clearly see how this work works.  Another tool I use I call Body Presencing  which you can also read about fully on my web site. I invite you to peruse it, and feel free to ask me any questions that come up for you.

I look forward to this year, and to helping us live with vitality, wholeness, and health.