How To Accept Disappointment

"The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.” -Anonymous Have you ever had something happen that you were very excited about; a new relationship, a child, a dream house, etc. and then it gets taken away for some reason? I don`t know about you, but the disappointment seems to linger for awhile. We could just move on….but how do we do that? That is the question; how do we move on? It is easy to say, let`s just move forward. Does that work without all the work involved to really move forward? I don`t think so. So what do we do? Recently my husband and I found a house that we really wanted. It was in the location we had been eyeing for years, it had a lake view, it was centrally located, it had all the features we were looking for, and we fell in love with it. We quickly put together an offer, got pre-qualified for a loan and sent it in digitally. We did all we were supposed to do. We got excited and started dreaming. We were thinking about where

Revisiting Old Patterns

"A bridge can still be built while the bitter waters are flowing beneath.” -Anthony Liccione It is almost the New Year and a great time for reflection. How was this year for us, and what did we learn, what caused us to stumble a little or a lot, what was good for us, and what do we wish for in the coming year? It is the coming to an end of something, and the beginning of something new that we create for ourselves. It is colder out and the days are shorter; a great time to spend more time with ourselves in self-reflection. As we do so, what comes up for us? One thing I find very helpful is to ask myself what old patterns and old ways of being came up for me this year for me to look at for my personal growth? One of the things that came up for me was the passing of my father and the coming together of my whole family for us to be together, mourn him and celebrate what he was for us and who he was as a person. I found that I was glad for his passing. I was complete

The Path Towards Wholeness

"You can only lose what you cling to.” -Buddha As this year of 2015 is coming to a close, it is the end of three years of my weekly blogs and also the end of the year in which I explore a type of memoir to my father, the impact of family on my life and others, and what I am learning in my work with my patients. As December is here I am wondering what I want to write about in the coming year.  I am committed to helping myself and others live whole, happy and vital lives. Through the last three years, I have written about the factors that influence our development and ways to live as we wish to live on our paths to wholeness. The path to wholeness lies in listening to our true selves, to separating our beliefs from our families and our communities and to actively working on ourselves and listening to those parts that carry our traumas so that we can learn from them instead of being limited by them. Then comes integrating all those parts.  I have written about the Family

We Are One

"Some of us think holding on makes us stronger, but sometimes it is letting go.” -Herman Hesse I was sitting on a bench in our city park the other day. It was still sunny and warm enough to feel the sun`s rays penetrate my whole being. It is a part of our park which is kept natural and is like being in a clearing in a woodland. It is one of my favorite places. I was sitting there and closing my eyes and blending in with the environment. I was just one little part of everything. I could hear the birds talking, the wind whistling through the tree branches, the distant sounds of cars, the occasional distant sound of a siren, and my own breathing all co-mingling. I was one with it all. Have you ever had that experience of just being one with everything around you? It reminds me so much of how we are all one with everything and everybody, and that we in a sense have so much of everything within us. Through this past year as I was living my life, so much has happened, not on

What Our Future Holds

"Even if you fall on your face, you are still moving forward." -Victor Kiam This has been quite a year. I have written about my father with inspirational stories, with what I have learned about myself, my family, and from my patients. It has been a year of weaving my life and stories and learning with that of my father and a memorial of sorts to him. We all have family stories and beliefs, events, thoughts, and memories that have shaped us. If felt important to me to bring this together for my learning and to share what I have learned with you. As this year is nearing completion, what does the future hold? That is a question we can all ask ourselves as the new year is approaching; what does the future hold? This  has been a year of talking a lot about family, our parents, and their influence on us. It has been a year of talking about interrupted bonds between us and our caretakers, talking about truth and grief and mourning, talking about aging and the winter of o

Blast From The Past

"Most people think that shadows follow, precede, or surround beings or objects. The truth is that they also surround words, ideas, desires, deeds, impulses, and memories.” -Elie Wiesel These days many of us use the social media of Facebook to find and re-connect with old friends and/or school acquaintances of the past. This can be quite fun and bring back many old memories we haven’t thought of in a long time. As I am coming to the end of this year, 2015, in my attempt to honor my father’s life in a true way, I am intrigued with the memories that are surfacing for me. It is through these old memories, blasts from the past, that we can also gain greater insights into ourselves. We can use these to see old patterns of our parents, our grandparents if we know them or hear stories of them, and ourselves. Seeing the patterns helps us to bring consciousness to them for us and then to make different choices in our lives. Through my work, I love to continue to learn for my


"No memory is ever alone; at the end of a trail of memories, a dozen trails that each have their own associations.” -Louis L”Amour Memories are interesting things. They can be elusive and we can make them intractable by constantly repeating them to ourselves and others. They can also be beautiful tools to help understand ourselves, and rarely are they factual or objective. Our memories tell us about our perspective of people, things, and events. We can get many people in a room and have them talk about their memories of the same event, and everyone will remember it differently. With my father, he loved to repeat stories over and over again, and they become unchangeable in his mind. This happens with all of us. Yet these memories or stories help us to understand us and others. What we remember, how we remember, the words said that we remember, and our reactions to our story help us to understand our unconscious. I love it when I facilitate constellations for others in