In the Meantime: Sowing Seeds
I remember when I was 18 years old and I was looking at schools I wanted to go to, there was only one that spoke to me. I foolishly applied to just that one school. I didn't get in, and I was thrown. I didn't have anyone in my life to guide me towards a more thorough process, and if I explored my feelings back then, I wasn't really ready to go away to school, but I didn't consciously know that at the time. It wasn't until I was away at school and became very depressed that it became clear to me that I just wasn't ready to go away for school, nor did I have a clear idea as to what I wanted to do. It took me going through a meantime process of going to a school, finding I fell into a deep hole and having to go back home for awhile to climb out of the whole, for me to understand that truth about myself. One of my issues at the time was that I felt shame about my not being ready, so I couldn't see my fear until I took a step I wasn't prepared for....