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Our Life's Purpose

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“To truly laugh you must be able to take your pain and  play with it.”                                                                                                                                                                -Charlie Chaplin Many of us think about our life’s purpose and know we have one, and don’t always know what it is. Sometimes our purpose is to shed light on something. Sometimes our purpose is to meet and be with our soul mate….sometimes our purpose is to break a pattern that has been repeating….and so on. Sometimes, what we think is our purpose really may not be. On that same line of thought, sometimes what we think we want and what we think we are here for consciously is not really what makes us more of who we are in our essence. Sometimes, our eyes are bigger than our stomachs and we want something that really isn’t in our best interest. Sometimes, the opposite is true where we play it small and don’t really stretch into who and what we can be.  I

What Is the Cause of the Pain?

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“The only gift I have to give is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me.”                                                                                                      - Jarod Kintz As a Chiropractic physician I work with many people in different degrees of pain, dysfunction, and even illness. I look at my patients through the lens of finding the cause of their pain. The cause is not only on the  physical level, but also the spiritual and metaphysical levels. Almost every physical complaint is tied to a spiritual cause. We often don ’ t listen to our internal issues until or unless we are in some kind of pain. As this year also ties me and my work with the influence of my father and his life, good and bad, I am taking the time to relate my father and his beliefs to mine. He is a child psychoanalyst who believes in the power of the mind over the body and in the body/mind connection. He liked t

Are You Invisible

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“ Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. Listen to it carefully. ”                                                                                  - Richard Bach   The other day I received a phone call from an old friend who was also a friend of my family. In our conversation she said something, which stayed with me and gave me pause. It caused me to think and work with the information she gave me in an enlightening kind of way. She told me a story which involves my father. The short story is that she was in town, lives out of town, and asked if she could come over to visit. He answered, yes, if she would be invisible. I will elaborate on this story shortly. In the mean time, have you ever felt invisible, or were asked openly or tacitly to be invisible? For the many of us who have experienced this, it is not fun. It doesn ’ t feel good, nor does it honor us. One good thing about old friends is that they hold many shared memories, some of which we r

Trapped In The Mirror

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“ The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected. ” -Robert Frost Are you unable to see yourself clearly and/or to separate your self from others needs? There is a great tendency to see others through our own window. In fact, it is so prevalent that we don ’ t often know we are doing that; seeing others through our perspective. And, if we are used to not being seen it can be quite difficult to see us clearly, or at all. I have two stories that relate to this subject. The first story I will address in this week ’ s blog and the second story I will address next month. The second story deals with a woman who is so eager to help that she doesn ’ t realize that she is doing it for herself and sees others through her own perspective. This week ’ s story deals with a woman who is lost in the mirror.  In this week ’ s story, I was working with a woman who had not been seen by either parent. One left when she was four years old, and the other was a teenage parent already with

Who Am I? Who Are You?

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“ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. ”                                                                                     - Oscar Wilde I have been on the subject of selfishness, narcissism the effects of being raised by narcissistic wounded people and how this also keeps getting passed forward to future generations. We all need to be seen and to feel like we are loved for who we are. Often this does not occur in our lives. Last week I wrote about being trapped in the mirror, seeing only a reflection of the self and wondering, who am I? This week I am writing about the opposite, which is really the same, can, we see others as separate from us?  When we are merged with a parent, or when we feel like we have to take care of a parent or their feelings, we too often lose a sense of ourselves as separate from them. We may not even realize we are doing this. We end up wondering, who am I, and who are you? In my famil

Bodies and Souls

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“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”                                                                                               -George Bernard Shaw Have you ever had the privilege of witnessing a person or animal die?  It is an amazing experience. A few months ago I was with my 13 year old Great Pyrenees as we put her to sleep. She was here one moment, and in a last breath, she was gone. You can feel the presence of one ’ s soul, one ’ s being, and you know when it is gone. If you had ever questioned the presence of our soul, witnessing the soul leave and the difference in the body before and after lets you know there is a distinct and palpable difference. Our essence lights us up. As we live in our bodies and often don ’ t pay much attention to intangibles, we can easily get confused and begin to think our body is who we are. Our body houses our soul, and because it gives it a place to be, our bodies reflect what is going on

Are You Selfish?

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“ Self absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. ”                                                                                     - Daniel Goleman I think we are all born selfish. We have to be for our survival. We selfishly need food and warmth and touch and love to survive and flourish. I love the word, “ flourish ” . To me it sounds like its meaning; to grow well, to thrive, and to prosper. I want to write this with a flourish. We need everything, and to us, the world revolves around us. In the best of worlds, our parents and caretakers sense our needs and provide them in a timely manner and with care, and most hopefully, with love. We survive and grow. There comes a time when just “ taking ” and just having the world revolve around us is not good enough. As we grow older, and walk and think for ourselves, and to go school, we begin to need to be aware of others and to begin to give back in some way. This giving back, or sharing, begins small and