Body Presencing™ - Healing the Root of the Matter

“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”                                                                                                          - John Green My father just visited. He was relocated to Denver by us, his children, last October. This was his first visit here since he relocated. I have gone to visit him a couple of times, but this was his first visit back home. This time, we needed to take him directly to the airline gate, and pick him up directly at the gate. He can no longer negotiate new spaces by himself. He is not the man he had been. He is in the throes of dementia. It is very weird and sad to be with the man I have always known as my father and find him in ways the same, and in ways so different. Gone is the quick wit; except for an occasional glimpse. Gone is the verbal sparring and manipulation he was so good at. As one of his patients said to me recently, he once had an IQ of around 180, and it is so strange to see how much of his mind is n

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking."                                                                                         - Albert Einstein         Rituals are an important aspect of our lives; or they can be. They could be as simple as saying a prayer before the dinner meal, or reading a bed time story to the children before sleep. In our family, it was breakfast together; mostly Sunday breakfasts. These rituals bring us something important. Often they are little nuggets we incorporate as a way of belonging with our families. For me, it was the time set aside to be together, away from the usual day to day life happenings. We would go out for Sunday breakfast, or when we were very young, it was the homemade banana pancakes as we sat and ate together. That was a time when our father wasn ’ t working and it was a time for us children, and us as a family.  Recently, we brought my father ba

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”                                                                   - Leo Tolstoy We are forever connected to and with our families and caretakers. Often it takes years for us to learn who we are separate from our families. We are greatly influenced by their ideas, beliefs, ways of operating in the world, and it isn ’ t until teen years and older that we begin to see that their way may not be ours. In addition, we begin to discover that their way is not the only way or the normal way; it is their way. Their way is also influenced by their families. When we view a parent as being sad or depressed or abusive, as we grow older and do our inner work, we can begin to see that maybe they are sad or abusive as a repetitive pattern from their parents, and so on. These patterns are repeated by us in a compulsive way unless and until we can become conscious and we separate our true selves from theirs. Th

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.”                                                                                      - Steve Maraboli Most of us want to create a different life for our children than we have had. Even if we experienced a good childhood and life, there are things we would like to be different for our children; our future. December is a time when we also think about the New Year to come and we make resolutions. We prepare for what we would really like in our coming year and the lives of our future.  Our future; that is a big subject. Many of us plan ahead, and save money and pay off our loans and put things aside for our future. The trick here is in being able to live fully in the present and take care of us while also seeing how we can create a future filled with love, connection, hope, acceptance, inspiration and clarity. Recently I had an opportunity to work with a new mother. She was concerned because she was very awar

“Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.”                                                                                 -H. Jackson Browne JR.                                                                                  It is December, the beginning of winter, and a month where most of us become consumed with the holidays of Christmas and Chanukah. These are holidays in which the custom is to give gifts to those who mean something to us in a symbol of love and of giving. In order for us to give fully, it is important for us to “ see ” clearly the other person and persons to whom we are giving. If it is truly a gift, then it is about the person to whom we are giving. When we live in a selfish manner by seeing others through the lens of our own personal, separate awareness, is it really about the other person? How do we know if something or some action or words are about us or not? Most of the time we go about our lives dis

“ Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you  need.”                                                                                    - Kahil Gibran       The daylight is shorter in duration and less intense. The days are becoming cold and we are bundling in our clothes. It is a time for more introspection and when we climb inside of our minds. In this time of year, many of us experience a SAD syndrome from not enough light. This can be a part of us becoming more sad and melancholy. For some of us who feel a need to be more active, this can also contribute to a feeling of being lost. December is the beginning of our winter. This month, as in October and November, I am taking us into our future in terms of living in a future we create from nurturing our past and present in a deep and profound way. As we learn to do so, our future can be filled with love, acceptance, connection, inspiration, hope and clarity. Many of us experience times in

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”                                                                                          - Lao Tzu                               We have gone on a journey this past year, through Body Presencing ™ , learning what it is, seeing what keeps us stuck in the past, learning what it is to be in the present, and seeing what is in store for us in the future. Along with stories, cases, and philosophizing, I have included many exercises and meditations to help us along this path. Here we are at the end of the year, and I don ’ t know about you, but this year has gone by very fast. At times it felt slow, like through our cold, sludgy winter, but other times just zoomed past. This is life; sometimes we get stuck in something and time goes very slowly, our growth seems to slow down. At times, we pick up things very quickly and just roll with our learning. One of the bigge